- Ben Affleck claimed he's thankful for his split with ex-fiance Jennifer Lopez. We are too--I don't think anyone could stomach the photos of you two wearing matching velour tracksuits. [Digital Spy]
- Get your "Trapped in a Jail Cell" jokes ready: a date has been set for R. Kelly's child pornography trial. [Crunk & Disorderly]
- "The Black Dahlia" attempts to steal "Six Feet Under's" thunder. [Towerload]
- Pete Doherty is allegedly attempting to convince the owners of a soccer team in London to let him marry Kate Moss on their field. You should probably just concentrate on getting out of rehab and jail first, buddy. [Contact Music]
- Fergie recently claimed she knew she had a drug problem when she spent eight hours talking to a clothes hamper. "It wasn't a hamster... it was a hamper." Uh... ok, I guess? [PR Inside]
- Paris Hilton's arresting officer may have been drunker than Paris herself. Her height is listed as 5'3, and her middle name is misspelled. Lohitney? Really? [MollyGood]
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