For all of our dear readers without access to trendy nightspots (and I'm one of em'), look no further. We've got the lowdown. You might sometimes get down in the dumps and sigh wistfully to yourself and think "I live near cornfields or a herring run, and it's all so boring, why can't I go to hot-ass nightclubs like Hyde?" This is what a typical night at Hyde is like. Overpaid sluts. Slutty mothers of overpaid sluts. Drunken sons of Greek shipping magnates. A lot of ciggies. And to quote Jennifer Grey in Ferris Bueller's Day Off, probably "a scorching case of herpes".
Our pals over at Life & Style have the scoop:
The bizarre Hollywood triangle -- leader of the pack Paris Hilton, protégé Britney Spears and Paris' frequent enemy, Lindsay Lohan -- partied at Hyde last night and, per usual, left a path of drunken devastation in their wake!As a bespectacled Brit sat subdued in a corner booth for most of the night, Paris did what she does best: She made out with her boy toy of the minute, Stavros Niarchos, and fought with Lindsay, an insider tells Life & Style.
Shortly after Stavros embraced Paris, twirled her around and planted an endless lip-lock on her -- the argument began between Paris and Linds, who has canoodled with Stavros in the past.
The girls screamed at each other until Britney stepped in to fix the situation with the promise of nicotine.
"Paris," she told her new mentor, "let's go smoke a cig and calm down."
Enter Dina Lohan, and more photos of Paris Hilton at Kinko's, after the jump.
One Night At Hyde [Life & Style]
A crisis was averted -- until Lindsay's mom, Dina Lohan, decided to stick her nose into the situation by strutting over to Stavros and cornering him.
Soon after, he stomped over to Paris, grabbed her by the arm and demanded they leave. But Paris wasn't ready. She pulled her arm back, lost her footing and ate pavement!
At that point, the Lohans had had enough and fled out the back door. Soon after, Paris, Britney and Stavros did the same and returned to Paris' crib, where hordes of paparazzi, police and a helicopter were all lying in wait.
And if there hadn't been enough high school drama for one evening, Paris began chanting "Firecrotch" as she exited her car. She then capped off her performance with an expletive about Lindsay.
Ugh, this is exactly the feeling I had in high school. I've never wanted so many people to die so quickly at once. Can you purchase Ebola over the counter? Anyone?
P.S. From the lofty heights of the Old Navy clearance rack, J. Harvey will be acting as a "guest judge" for Life & Style's Fashion SOS section, on newstands today.
(Image source)
Jinxy McDeath says:
****************SSPRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYY************
With all the skank, I figured something floral to mask the odor of STD's and vaginal infections might be in order.
Your welcome.
Jinxy McDeath says:
And if you're into good grammar "You're" welcome.
HildaBooze says:
Do you think Britneys trashy poses in the past week are calculated to devaluate any trashy pics Fed Ex has and is angling to sell or just desensitize the public in the event they are published . She did this with the baby pics a few weeks ago. Could she be that savy Nahh but someone on her team might be