Look for me at the bar at Social. Not doing the costume thing this year. I'm just going to sit, drink and wait until things get scary.

Watch those hands.

Enough with the spam. I don't need a mortgage, I don't care if your family is stranded in Uganda, I surely don't need viagra, and pussy doesn't turn me on!

So it looks like Jessica Simpson is parlaying her "dumb blonde" image into something much more.

From E Online.

The bumbling blonde will soon lend her name and face to everything from perfume to postcards to...tuna?

Signatures Network Inc., a celebrity merchandising and licensing company, announced Monday that it will launch an exclusive new program for the Newlyweds star, targeting the health, beauty and fashion categories, as well as certain other products that fall under "Just Jessica."

"Jessica's natural beauty and success in both TV and music create endless possibilities for licensing and endorsements," said SNI CEO Dell Furano. " Newlyweds has both enormously elevated her visibility, and highlighted her own interest in beauty and fashion. Young women can really relate to her."

Jessica's ditzy blunders and, shall we say, unique outlook on life apparently make her all the more appealing as a celebrity spokesperson.

Maybe our Jessica isn't quite as dumb as she seems.

Then again, no.

Apparently I am not the only one who is completely sick of hearing about the metrosexual; see The Kicker blurb. Not only did South Park have an episode, Miss Match (yes Miu watches Miss Match - a romantic at heart) has an episode regarding the Metrosexual. Please let this media fascination with this pseudo image type come to a screeching halt now!

Why does everything have to be defined? What ever happened to "that hot guy who dresses well"?

David Beckham's photo was the first one that came up after a Metrosexual Google image search.

That's a mighty big jug you have.

Liza's statement: "I hoped very much that the end of my marriage would be handled with mutual respect and dignity," Minnelli, 57, said in a statement released yesterday. "The allegations in this lawsuit are hurtful and without merit."

According to the lawsuit: The concert producer, who collects Shirley Temple memorabilia, said the "Cabaret" actress damaged him neurologically by hammering him with her fists during vodka-fueled rages.

Among the alleged beatings Gest detailed in his lawsuit, he cites an incident in which he says Minnelli threw a lamp and pummeled his face in a London hotel suite in June, causing him to duck, cover and scream, "Liza! Stop it! Stop it!"

What an even bigger mess this marriage has turned into. The man, and I use that term loosely, has obviously no shame.

Read all about it.Liza Fights Back [The Daily News]

Finally got together with a group of friends to celebrate Raoul Bova's hot new Gap commercial. My best friend Nicky, Mark Ronson, Donna Hanover, Courtney Ross, Brett Butler, Raoul and I dined at Apizz (decent, but the food won't blow you away).

Check out Raoul Bova's Gap Commericial.

We discussed topics ranging from Raul's lucious new commercial, Choire Schia's fanastic transition as the new editor of Gawker, the fact that there were no The Kicker entries last Friday (was Elisabeth hung over), that fact that it's looking like Oliver Martinez is cheating on Kylie after all (you told me you weren't you bad boy), how Vin Diesel's star has dimmed of late, how awful Extra is (Ben Affleck shaving his goatee is not story worthy), and how fantastic the Kill Bill soundtrack is.

Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson, whom I loathe, were dining at Apizz as well. He's prettier than she is in person. Don't miss the season finale tonight.

A quick get well shout out to Bob DeNiro.

He wears white extremely well. Don't cha think?

In order of worst to least worst, the five women who's fashion style I'm still trying to figure out.

1 - Donatella Versace. First of all thanks to The Kicker for finding this photo. Donatella, stay out of the sun sweetie, and condition your hair.

2 - Paula Abdul. She's come back from the dead to haunt us with example after example of extremely poor taste.

3 - Mariah Carey. She just always comes off looking like a slut.

4 - Britney Spears. This girl has no clue of what the word fashion means. She needs to fire her stylist, or maybe listen to a stylist now!

5 - Christina Aguilera. Poor poor X-tina. No.