"Don't drink my Juice."

Jesus Juice. I'm sure Jesus wouldn't want his name brought into this scandal.

You know, you think you've heard the last of Michael Jackson's weirdness. But no, it just keeps getting stranger and stranger. The man should really be committed, or get some serious therapy.

Read more on Jesus Juice from NEWYORKISH.

What does Martha do before trial. She goes and gets her hair ($65.00) and makeup ($120.00) done.

Day one of Martha's trial. She needs to work on softening up her look in court. She has a propensity to frown. I'm not saying that she smile like Tom Cruise was when Nicole Kidman read off his Best Actor nomination (wasn't that strange), but how about giving us maybe half a smile. She needs to make more eye contact with the jury, so the feel something from her. Or maybe just give them a well timed tear.

Barbara Walters was there, but not in soft focus. It was a little jarring. Martha's mother was also there to lend her support (I wonder how much Martha had to pay her). She looked ancient.

Who will be the celebrity guest tomorrow?

Catherine Zeta Jones had a seamstress sleep overnight at her house so her dress would fit perfectly for the Golden Globes.

The woman wasn't even nominated for anything. It was an unspectacular black dress.

Does her weight fluctuate that much day to day, that the final fitting couldn't have been done the previous day. Maybe she's pregnant again?

Let me just say that I love Nicole Kidman. Class act, style icon, great actress. That said, I'm so happy that she wore that ugly dress; and who did her hair? I hate "nude" fabric.

She finally got the bad outfit out of the way. Did anyone catch who the designer was (hopefully it was vintage)? I missed most of the preshow.

Best speech of the night was Meryl Streep's Bush Bashing (President Bush Bashing I Should Say) - you go girl!

Robin Williams isn't funny anymore.

That's it. Did anyone find the show a little boring. Not up to it's usual "party" attitude.

I don't know whether to laugh, cry or drool.

P.S. and yes the Hot Body of the Week is no longer. I'm now presenting the Hot Body of the Month.

If his kids don't think that wearing masks whenever in public is fun, they are going to be seriously fucked up.

Liz Smith is New York Gossip. The original queen. She continues to have the edge.

Ben, Jen Over [E Online]

Ding dong, the wicked couple is dead! Not literally, of course. I couldn't possibly wish that on anyone. Except for David Gest.

It came as a shock to no one. Jennifer finally got tired of compulsive gambler and substance abuser, Ben Affleck. Now it make sense as to why she was partying with Diddy, and hasn't been wearing the ring (which you know she's keeping).

Ben will never again find another hottie on the level of Miss Lopez. What level that is, I'm not quite sure.

The question is who will Jennifer seduce next, and be totally in love with for 12 to 18 months?

Melissa Mathison was robbed! $118,000,000 is not nearly enough cash to compensate for 20 years of putting up with the most boring celebrity on the planet. You could fall asleep just looking at Harrison Ford, let alone sit through a conversation or an interview.

Yes I know that Ford is always stoned out of his mind - but you would think that it would make him more interesting than dull. I mean Silent Bob never talked, was stoned out of his mind, and he was ten times more interesting than Harrison Ford. At least he's found solace in the equally boring Calista Flockhart. I can just imagine a conversation between the two of them.

Flockhart: "Do you want some of this Ben & Jerry's Phish Food?"

Ford: "You're eating?" Do you like my earing?

Flockhart: "Ha ha ha ha he he he he."

Ford: "What?"

Flockhart: "I like snow."

Ford: "Yeh."

Or something like that. Please, please don't let them reproduce! Harrista is all this world can take.

Martha Stewart, pictured here, greeting her two supporters outside federal court with flowers picked from her own garden. Ms. Stewart seemed upbeat, despite the fact that the jury pool has to be tainted. Who doesn't despise Martha just a tad bit.

In court Ms. Stewart seemed somewhat disinterested in what was taking place. She seemed to be taking notes, however it was later uncovered that she was just jotting down the recipes for a 2004 version of the classic Chocolate Chip Cookie.

Stay true, Martha.