You're a rich girl. She's the one on the right. This photo was taken circa 1990.

Gianni Versace's niece Allegra Beck turned 18 on Wednesday and took possession of the inheritance from her late uncle — half the fashion house. The 50 percent stake in the company had been held in trust since Versace was gunned down at his Miami Beach mansion in 1997, when Allegra was 11. She is the daughter of Versace's sister Donatella, the company's designer, and former model Paul Beck.

Hum a birthday tribute by The Corsair.

If it's in Star Magazine it must be true.

Nothing is ever as it seems. While I do feel some sympathy for the teen tyke in her struggle with anorexia, there is no sympathy for being a Coke freak! That's so '80's. She looses points with all the hipsters (if she had any anyway). Why not Heroin, or Special K, Crystal, or GHB? She'll never star in an indie film after this. Although, maybe Ashley will play Mary Kate in the Lifetime Movie version - The Adventures of Mary Kate Olsen: The Case of the Anorexic Coke Addict.

Defamer ran a photo of what the "original cover" was supposed to be. Also, take a look at the $14,000/month Soho loft that the Olsen Twins were thinking about renting, until their lease was withdrawn [via Curbed].

For continued laughs, please read the comments (it's up to 62 hilarious comments) to my original posting on Mary Kate. If these girls are the future of our country, I'm headed to Europe. Although, I now know why the Olsen Twins are mulitmillionaires.

Some tasty samples from the youth of America:

who r you to say that its not true and another reason people who come to this site and know this is all a stupid scam she loves her sister so much and supposebly wut u say she did eating all her food could kill mk and ashley loves her sister and she would never do that.and you must be jealous cause you r the uglyest person alive and obviously dont know them like there best friend does (posted by friend)

WHAT THE HECK???mary-kate only did that because of presure and.... how could ashley , why would ashley steal mary-kates food?if you look at all their pictures together, they are so close and ashley would never do that to someone expesily her sis. why dont you talk about your self instead of mary-kate and ashley???just shut u with all this crap your sayin !!!!!!!!!!!!!and everyone knows that picture is fake!!!casue i ahve the same picture and ashley aint fat like you say she is!!! (posted by posted by KW what the heck? shut up!!!!)

Let the clueless reign!

> US Transfers Power Over To Iraq
Now get out, and let them fuck up on their own. [Chicago Tribune]
> Courtney Love's Five Hours Late For Court Appearance
It just keeps getting better and better. [Reuters]
> Catherine Zeta Jones' Stalker Apologizes
Catherine accepts the apology, and gives the stalker Star Jones' home address. [E Online]
> Britney's Ultrasound
Would she plan a November wedding if she was going to be seven to eight months pregnant by that time? I don't think so. [Vividblurry]
> Mira Sorvino Marries Trash
If this were 1996, she would have never settled for this tot. [NewYorkish]
> Bijou Phillips and Casey Johnson sued by Nicole Lenz
I don't like Nicole Lenz, but Bijou is so fucked up, I'm sure she attacked Nicole. [NYDN]
> Rick Hitlon Shopping His Own Reality Show
Only one Hilton to go. Why papa Hilton? He's not even attractive. Was Nicky too busy shopping or something? [Gawker]

> Paris Purchases Her Own Porn Video
You would have thought Rick Solomon would've at least given her a free one, since she did make him millions. [Fleshbot]
> Britney's Engagement Ring: A First Look
From a photo in which she's dumping the contents of an ashtray from a hotel balcony. Classy as usual. [Stereogum]
> More Buzz To the Rumor That Choire's Leaving Gawker
Andrew Krucoff's leaving Gothamist for Gawker. [Gothamist]

I went Barney's the other day with my friend Susan Alexandra de Portago, and we spent a boat load of cash. I haven't been shopping like that in a long time. Susan brings out the fever in me, I guess. While in shoe department, who did we see, but Amanda Peet. She's surprisingly beautiful in person. Susan and I both commented on what a great body she has. Anyway, she was very into trying on shoes with a couple of her girlfriends.

After we left Barney's with bags and bags in hand, we were crossing Wilshire Boulevard, but not noticing that the light was red (I think I was still on a shopping high). What should happen, but a police car turns on it's lights and stops Susan and me. For a second, I'm trying to figure out what's going on. Then it hits me, we were jaywalking. That's a big no-no in L.A.

The officer gets out of his car, and walks over to us, and states the obvious. "Do you realize you ladies were jaywalking?" I of course, state that I wasn't from L.A. and didn't realize that it was illegal, besides I also didn't realize the light had turned red. Susan tried to do her best pouting flirty look, while I did the hair flip a few times, and dropped one of my bags, so I could show off the cleavage.

All that effort to charm the police officer, and he still gave us tickets. He must have been gay, because the cleavage thing always works. Or maybe it was the fact that I was from New York.

> Rapper DMX Arrested Again
This time for impersonating an FBI Agent, and attempting to steal a car. Word. [Reuters]
> David Lee Roth is a training to be an EMT.
Noble, but I'd be afraid he'd be too stoned to help me if his ambulance arrived at my door. [NYDN]
> The Official Guide To Subway Gunplay
Welcome back NewYorkish, we missed you. [NewYorkish]
> The Ghetto Olsen Twins
This photo is too hilarious. [planetdan]
> The penis pumping judge.
Eww. [TSG]
> Judge Refuses To Unseal Michael Jackson Case Evidence
I actually think that it's a good thing. I think we'd all be too freaked out to know all the icky details. [AP]
> Whitney's Been an Addict Her Whole Life
Did anyone know that she was with Eddie Murphy for two years. This leads credibility to the rumor that Eddie's gay, and Whitney's a lesbian. [popbytes]

Ah. What a joyous announcement! However, a few questions remain to be answered. Will the engagement turn into an actual wedding? If so, will this marriage last more than 55 hours? Why did fiance Kevin de-beautify himself? Does Britney actually know what the concept of marriage means? How does Kevin's unborn child feel about this engagement? Does anyone really care?

Tween girls obviously have no perspective or sense of what is real or a joke. For a fabulous laugh you must read the comments on the following post, "Mary Kate Olsen Has Eating Disorder Because Ashley Ate All Her Food." I personally don't remember being that delusional or

My favorite of the comments:

You obviously have nothing better to do with your time!..Stop hating on them,because your just jealous you cant be pretty like them!..So,get over yourself!..freak!.. posted by Grow up you loser

Dear Grow Up You Loser,

I don't have anything better to do with my time. If I did, I wouldn't have posted about the Olsen Twins tragedy. I'm a little bit confused as to how someone hates on someone? I don't think that's possible. So you think I'm jealous of the Olsen Twins. You've found me out. As a 29 year-old woman, I strive to be just to be like the 18-year-old Olsen Twins. I guess an eating disorder is now on my To Do List. Oh, and by the way, I'm fucking hot.

Love,

Miu

For more Olsen Twins hilarity the following two post are must reads.

Mary-Kate's letter from rehab [Lindsayism] and Which Olsen twin are you? [Pop Culture Junkies]

If it's in The Sun, it must be true.

It’s official — the Irish badboy is very, very well hung. The bad news is his manhood is so big it had to be axed from nude scenes in new movie A Home At The End Of The World. Boo hiss — I feel a petition coming on. I can reveal Colin’s considerable chopper caused such a stir among audiences at test screenings that scenes showing his privates ended up on the cutting-room floor.

A source says: “All you could hear were gasps when Colin appeared in his full-frontal pose. “The women were over-excited and the men looked really uncomfortable. “It was such a sight it made it difficult to concentrate on the plot, so the decision was made to get rid of it.”

Unless Mr. Farrell is a grower, I'm seriously doubting his Massive Penis status. As shown in Exhibit A there just isn't enough of a bulge factor for a massive cock to be encased in those jeans. In Exhibit B, we see a little more penis protrusion, however the jeans he's wearing in the photo are sooo tight, if any boy infant was wearing them they would have a bulge.

Exhibit A Exhibit B

So if anyone has evidence to the contrary, I'd say our Colin is an average dick.

> Bill Clinton Makes Book Sales History. 400,000 copies sold in one day.
This time he didn't have to sleep with an intern to do make history. He just had to write about it. [AP]
> Pat O'Brien Goes Off on Shaun Robinson
Wow. Who knew the Patster had it in him? Read the email. [to thine own self be true]
> Dissecting Lindsey Lohan's Boobs
Real or fake? That is the question. [TVGasm]
> Tommy Lee's Questionable DJ Skills
Why is he playing DJ in Vegas anyway? [NY Post]
> Tom Cruise's Film Opens Urban Film Festival
I immediately think of Tom Cruise when I think of "urban," in any sense of the word. [ABC]