Apple-bonging. Who knew. I suppose anything could be turned into a bong if you put your mind to it. Charlize Theron is seeming to enjoy it.

Now here's something truly bizarre. If you're interested in some Debbie Reynolds fecal matter, this is the site for you. Celebrity Skin and Bodily Fluids.

Every year millions of dollars go unclaimed, usually due to a move (or death) and institutions not being able to locate you. It looks as if celebrities are part of that group as well. Just a sampling:

JOLIE, ANGELINA
BEVERLY HILLS CA 90212
$602.83 PROGRESSIVE TITLE COMPANY, WESTLAND ESCROW DIVISION

PHOENIX, RIVER
GAINSVILLE FL 32608
$377.42 WARNER BROS A DIVISION OF
$440.52 WARNER BROS A DIVISION OF

smoked apple [cityrag]
Celebrity stoners [Cannabis Culture]
Famous Feces [WOW Report]
Unclaimed Finances of The Rich & Famous [Banterist]

Our sponsors keep encouraging us to use more and more apostrophes, even when they aren't necessary. So we've lined them up and are testing their spelling skills. Are you interested contributing to the purchase of "Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation" by advertising on the site, click here.

- PETA
- The New School
- Andrew Rasiej
- Moe Wampum

Thanks also to BlogAds and BlogAds New York City.

It's Lindsay Lohan on vacation. No, no, no. You look so washed out.

J Lo in tan after the jump.

I Fucked Ann Coulter in the Ass, Hard. Okay. I think someone has way too much time on their hands.

Strange Bedfellows [WOW Report]

Katie Holmes remains the last virgin in Hollywood. While dating Tom Cruise, it will be very easy to keep that up. [Ananova]

Star Jones infuriated a fellow moviegoer at the Tribeca Film Festival screening of The Muppets' Wizard of Oz when the big-boned Bridezilla and hubby Al Reynolds sat in his family's assigned seats. Bitch. [Page Six]

The two voices of Paris Hilton. She has a ditsy voice and a serious voice. Fascinating. [NYDN]

Brazilian President met with both Naomi Campbell and Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice earlier this week. It would have been more interesting if they all met at the same time. [Page Six]

Did the daughter of Diane Weist, and two other young ladies rough up a classmate at the Beekman School and swiped his iPod and sunglasses? Wiest and her daughter declined to comment. Figures. [Page Six]

Katie Couric is hiding her legs. Ever since the New York Times attack on Katie, she's been covering up those legs. With plants and pant suits. A rep for NBC said: "While I haven't had the time to research pant-to-skirt ratio in the past, I assure you that these allegations regarding Katie's legs are completely absurd. This is completely false." [Page Six]

Way to go Cissy! We knew that Whitney couldn't have checked herself in. The girl's too much of a mess.

People magazine reports that Cissy Houston, herself a Grammy-winning gospel singer, asked a Georgia court to order her drug-addled daughter into treatment.

Reps for both Cissy and Whitney Houston declined to comment on the report. However, Whitney's publicist, Nancy Seltzer, is quoted by People as saying the "Greatest Love of All" songbird is "entering the second phase of her treatment." The magazine says Houston rejoined her family in the Caribbean and would resume treatment at a clinic near her home in suburban Atlanta.

Whitney Houston checked in to Crossroads, the exclusive Antigua-based clinic founded by Eric Clapton (who famously battled his own addictions), on Mar. 23. She left on Apr. 18, according to several published reports.

Will she stay clean? Not a chance if she's stays with Bobby. On the plus side of all of this, we will get to see a wasted Whitney Houston when Bravo airs "Being Bobby Brown" this summer beginning June 30 at 10 p.m.

Whitney's Rehab: Mommy's Orders? [E Online]

I'm not seeing it.

JJB

Hopefully I will be as agile when I'm 80. The only downside to the story is, that the woman Madalene Lindill rescued, started the fire (accidentally) while lighting a cigarette while wearing an oxygen mask!

An 80-year-old woman rescued her 67-year-old neighbor from an apartment fire, carrying the ailing woman down two flights of stairs. Madalene Lindill put Grace Brayman's arms around her neck and carried her on her back out of their elderly housing complex Wednesday after Brayman accidentally ignited a fire in her apartment.

Lindill told WJAR-TV there was "nothing to it." "I'm not a great person," she said. "You just don't think at the time."

Hope Valley-Wyoming Fire Chief Fred Stanley described Lindill as "a small woman." She told him she had served as an auxiliary firefighter in the 1960s in Plainfield, Conn. "She had to be a spunky little character to do what she did," Stanley said.

Fire officials said the blaze started when Brayman, who was wearing an oxygen mask, lit a cigarette. That caused the mask to ignite, and the fire spread to a chair and carpet. Brayman, the only person hurt, was released Thursday from a hospital.

Stanley said Lindill would receive a department citation given for acts of heroism.

R.I. Woman, 80, Carries Friend Out of Fire [AP]

You mess with the blog husband, you've got the blog wife to contend with.

The Corsair can take criticism with the best of them. If one dishes it out, one must be prepared to take the hits along the way. That's only fair. But someone named Larry Dobrow of MediaDailyNews took it to another level.

Here are the writings of a man who doesn't know a damn thing about writing:

Take "The Corsair," a column by blogger dude Ron Mwangaguhunga. In it, he ranks his top 10 women of the moment, referencing how Aisha Tyler "fills out a bathing suit exquisitely" and how model Helena Christensen's face "gets hotter and more interesting through the passage of time." Honestly, I had to re-read it to see if I'd missed some blatant FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, THIS IS CLEARLY SATIRE notation, but none was forthcoming. As a writer and a dude, I'm ashamed for both my profession and my gender.

And yet Razor recovers from this grievous offense against the English language only a few short pages later. Flint Wainess invests his "Breakup Guy" column with the self-deprecatory wit and self-awareness that Mwanga-whatever-his-name-is lacks. Towards the back of the issue, Anna David's "Sex Files" column offers a take on that most pivotal of relationship landmarks - taking it public - that veers clear of both "Sex in the City" cliché and girl-power sass.

Regarding "blogger dude Ron Mwangaguhunga," the blog husband is so not a blogger dude. He's one of the most talented writers there is, and he more class and style than you will ever have.

Regarding "Mwanga-whatever-his-name-is," Does typing hurt your fingers, or are you seriously an idiot? It's Ron Mwangaguhunga. Mr. Dobrow, you are a petty little man.

Regarding "As a writer and a dude, I'm ashamed for both my profession and my gender." Lord help all heterosexual male writers if you're ashamed. Get a clue.

The Corsair Versus Larry Dobrow [The Corsair]
Razor [MediaPost]

[Photo via maximonline]

Gee, does this look like a planned photo op or what? I can imagine what was going through their minds.

Tom: Okay Katie, a hoard of photographers have appeared. We must kiss now.

Katie: No worries Tom. I have plenty of years of experience kissing guys like you. I mean, I practically had to kiss James van der Beek on Dawson's Creek like every week.

Katie: This worked for Penelope Cruz, right?