(Thanks to Maggie for the photo.)

• Martha Stewart's catchphrase has been revealed. It will flow right off of your tongue. [Bloggy McBlogalot via Defamer]
• What would it look like if Mary-Kate hung out with Lindsay Lohan, Nicole Richie and Adrian Brody on a British sidewalk? [Verbose Coma]
• What would you look like if you were caught having sex in a car. Not pretty. [cityrag]
• Former Newsday publisher was arrested on kiddie porn charges. Newsday is thankful that he's a former publisher. [Jossip]
• Sean Combs made Penelope Cruz into a not-so-attractive woman. [Perez Hilton]

If you need visuals. A beehive hairdo will not send a tiger into attack mode.

[Chicago Tribune]

I guess he wanted to go out on a high note. Queue canned laughter.

A man wanted on a variety of traffic violations in Mineral County led officers on a chase to Missoula County, where he apparently slowed down long enough to inject himself with cocaine before surrendering at a roadblock.

"I guess when he finally approached our guys, he was going about 20 mph or so," Missoula County sheriff's Lt. Rich Marcelli said Monday. "He told them that he was going so slow because he was trying to shoot up while he was driving."

When Werner D. Anderson got out of his van, a deputy saw a syringe package and cap fall out of the vehicle, court records said.

"Deputy (Jeremy) Meeder spoke to Werner and asked him of he was using the syringe to inject methamphetamine," Deputy Missoula County Attorney Jennifer Clark wrote in court records. "Werner stated that he had been using cocaine while officers were pursuing him."

Mont. Man Shoots Up During Police Chase [AP]

I guess Terry and her man grooved to a different beat.

Author Terry McMillan has filed for divorce from the man who inspired the 1996 novel "How Stella Got Her Groove Back," which chronicled the romantic adventures of a 40-something woman who falls for a guy half her age.

In papers filed in Contra Costa County Superior Court, McMillan, 53, says she decided to end her 6 1/2-year marriage to Jonathan Plummer, 30, after learning he is gay. The revelation led her to conclude Plummer married only to get his U.S. citizenship, she said. McMillan met Plummer at a Jamaican resort a decade ago.

"It was devastating to discover that a relationship I had publicized to the world as life-affirming and built on mutual love was actually based on deceit," she said in court papers. "I was humiliated."

In response, Plummer maintained McMillan treated him with "homophobic" scorn bordering on harassment since he came out to her as gay just before Christmas.

While the details may be slightly different, Star Jones, you may want to take notes.

Terry McMillan divorcing 'Groove' muse [CNN]

UPDATE: Yes, I know that the photo above is of Star Jones and her husband. The photo was posted in reference to the last line of the post. Got it?

Whose finger is it attached to? Find out after the jump.

Or would you like to play Tom Cruise for the Xbox? You must cherish every Tom Cruise moment, because the promo blitz for War of the Worlds has almost ended. There is War of the Worlds related news; it seems that Tom does believe in aliens after all.

There have been some juicy bits in the last 24 hours.

Did the Tomster get it on with Rob Thomas from Matchbox 20?

A friend of mine just got back from LA and heard this scoop about Tom & Katie from someone who works at Universal. The source said that they (Tom & Katie) have a 5-year contract and he's paying her $8 million. The engagement happened so fast because Rob Thomas' (Matchbox 20) wife caught Rob and and Tom in bed together and they rushed the engagement so that it would overshadow that scandal. Obv., take it with a grain of salt.

First, Mrs. Rob Thomas was bought off for an undetermined sum. Second, Cruise and his handlers set out to immediately find Cruise a girlfriend. Second-tier actresses were targeted. A list was drawn up with Jessica Alba (#1 pick) and three other girls who fell out for various reasons. Originally targeted (#3 I think) but later rejected as "undesirable" was rumor queen Lindsay Lohan. Way down at #5 on the list was Katie Holmes, but that was the one with whom they were able to strike a deal.

Once the contact was signed, photo ops were set up, leaks were made to the right places, and we've had celebrity relationship on steroids ever since.

That one I did not see coming. Rob Thomas? How obscure?

Yes, we know Tom needs to take a step back from things and chill out. I mean, even Rosie knows. Maybe all this hyped up mess that he's been giving us, is a result of the fact that he finds sex confusing. We'd like to harp on the "which hole dilemma," but we won't go there.

Tom Cruise has confessed he doesn't like sex outside a relationship because he finds it "confusing". But the Hollywood heavyweight has hinted he and his fiancée, actress Katie Holmes, have a steamy love life, claiming they have great chemistry.

He is quoted by German newspaper Bild as saying: "Sex is great, if you are in a relationship. Otherwise, I find sex actually not so interesting. Without a relationship it is confusing".

Cruise also revealed he is desperate to have children with Katie - who he believes is "the one". Referring to Katie, 26, he added: "Our chemistry has clicked. We are so alike I believe I have found the right one and I want more children".

Hey, that's great. Tom wants more kids. However, if Katie turns to Scientology, she might find that having a baby, may be more difficult than not having one. You see, Scientology actually encourages abortion.

The Church of Scientology assigned Tom Cruise's fiancée a full-time handler, Jessica Rodriguez, 29, who is a member of the sect's elite corps, the Sea Organization. Like all Sea Org members, Rodriguez is discouraged by the sect from ever giving birth. And if she does get pregnant, chances are she'll have an abortion. A former high-ranking Sea Org member now tells Recchia: "It is estimated that there have been some 1,500 abortions carried out by women in the Sea Organization since the implementation of a rule in the late '80s that members could not remain in the organization if they decided to have children. And if members who have been in the Sea Organization for, say, 10 years do decide to have kids, they are dismissed with no more than $1,000" in severance. Our source's ex-wife was also a Sea Org, and she was pressured by the church into having an abortion.

What the hell is the Sea Organization? Nice little cult, huh?

Tom Cruise Is Gay: Now with substantially more fake evidence [Jossip]
Rosie's collages of Tommy [cityrag]
Tom Cruise's 'confusing' sex [FemaleFirst]
Abort-Happy Folks [Page Six]

(Image via Rosie's flickr)

Now don't get all dirty on me. They're coming to a television near you. Tomorrow is the debut of Logo (and Q Television) and Being Bobby Brown.

Logo, MTV Networks' long-planned basic-cable channel, is scheduled to launch Thursday in 10 million digital cable homes in 22 top cities.

The 24-hour, ad-supported network joins Here! TV, an ad-free pay service started in 2003 by producer Paul Colichman as an outlet for his independent films. Here! is available on cable and satellite systems reaching 44 million homes, either by monthly subscription or as three-hour program blocks. Another pay channel, Q Television, emphasizes lifestyle coverage from major cities but has scant reach.

We are thrilled that they gays and lesbians, will now have mundane advertising aimed at their advertising dollars as well. Look for a dirty version of the "Don't squeeze the Charmin" campaign to launch relatively soon.

Bobby Brown wants you to know he's just an average suburban dad who loves his four kids and makes a mean macaroni and cheese from scratch. He's sharing that life with the world in Bravo's series Being Bobby Brown, premiering Thursday.

Brown, 38, decided to make his life public because "so much had been said about me, and I figured, 'Why not?' This is a way to show people that I'm just Bobby. I spend my time raising my kids. I just want people to stop judging me. I take pride in everything I do."

I'm assuming his talking about his battles with drugs. We would take pride in them too. How about the wife beating? Cocaine bust? Failed child support payments? We can't wait to have a front row seat at all the fun.

While it's not receiving the best reviews (Bobby's got a big ego - hey, we wouldn't be watching Blow Out either if we couldn't stand men with big egos), but that's half the fun of it. How could Bobby Brown not make awful television?

'Underserved' viewers get new gay channel [USA Today]
Daddy's home in 'Being Bobby' [USA Today]
‘Being Bobby Brown’ is disgusting [MSNBC]

• Actress Jennifer Tilly won the Ladies no-limit Texas Hold 'Em event at the World Series of Poker — the first time a celebrity has won an event at the famous tournament. She's my hero. [USA Today]
• Backstreet Boy Nick Carter has been ordered into rehab. Maybe the next time Nick drinks, he'll make sure he doesn't mix his alcohol with his prescription medication. Bad Backtreet Boy. [Billboard]
• No one likes Russell Crowe except for Ron Howard. [Radar Online]
• Another celebrity couple are wanting a child. Who is it this time? Ellen DeGeneres and Portia De Rossi. We wish them well. [Star]
• Zsa Zsa Gabor is suing her daughter (yes, she's still alive). The 88-year-old former beauty queen and her ninth husband said Francesca Hilton took out a loan on the couple's mansion and purchased her own property. [BBC]
• Christina Aguilera has rejected a song that was submitted for inclusion on her knew CD, because it was written by Britney Spears. A source close to the star has been quoted by Ananova as saying: "Christina wasn't too happy to discover it had been penned by her arch rival." The drama! [concert.com.au]

All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me.