If this was 'Murder She Wrote,' Jessica Fletcher would be standing over Laura's dead body looking for clues...

As their van takes them further into New Jersey, Alison tells us that she was sitting quietly humming the theme to the Sopranos. The Princess of Lumina watches the Sopranos? Did she see the one where Joey Pants beat the hooker to death? Didn't her handlers tell her that this show is too dark and dirty for her Gloriousness to view? Isn't her speed more watching a gentle rainfall on the lake, and children waving colored banners as they play in the park

At a warehouse in New Jersey, the designers are faced with piles of recyclable material. Robert sniffs that he doesn't want to work with trash. Well, you slept with Kayne, didn't you? This challenge is about innovation and creativity, Tim says. They have three bins to collect material in to make garments. Kayne tells is that he is no stranger to dumpster-diving, and they grew up white trash and that he and his sister were always in trash cans. Kayne, please stop doing my job for me. I need to get paid! Michael and Laura are a hot pairtng. I love when he was beat-boxing and Laura started to join in and he stopped Nana Park Avenue from being the Rakim to his Eric B. But he laughed while doing it. Michael is verging on dreamy.

Tim Gunn realizes a dream when they let him get on the intercom at the art supplies store to bellow at the designers. All he needs is a megaphone in life. Designers work on their recycled material creations back at Parsons. Vince tells us that he doesn't own the future, he doesn't go there. I wouldn't either because yours is looking bleak, Basket Hat. And enough with the self-help speak! Laura camera-hags that Vincent is "wack" and all sorts of crazy. Michael, stop giving Laura slang. Laura makes faces at Vince and tells us that he's "weird". So is never having physically touched your children since they came out of you, lady.

Back at Casa De Lube, Queen and Queenier dissect Laura's ass. Robert feels that her dress looks like a "straight-jacket" and she must be "sewing for herself" again. HAH! Robert should write this column. I give props to Kayne, because he actually seems like a nice guy and not as bitter as Barbie's seamstress. Kayne mentions that Laura kissed him on the cheek, and Robert says he will probably get a rash. MEOW! HISS!

Cranky Old Punk Jeffrey bitches about how Laura is boring him to tears with her dress. First off, anyone who can make a dress that clean and nice out of TRASH deserves some respect, Tattoo You. And man, do people hate Laura. What happened backstage? Did they witness her slapping the au pair? Watch out Laura, that results in your baby being shaken.

Robert camera-kittys the challenge to us and mentions that he recycles - "plastic, papers, ex-boyfriends". This bitch thinks he's Carol Channing. All he needs is a one-woman show. Alison is freaking because the challenge ends at midnight, and her outfit isn't working out. Even her panic is beautiful, and soft-spoken and full of shimmering showers of color and light. Kayne has it worse. His dress is all green paint and bottlecaps and aluminum foil sashes. The designers take a moment to consider it. Kayne says "it's awful" and Laura confirms with "yeah, I know". Ok, now I know why people are cutting her ass up. Vincent "sincerely doubts" that he is "going to go forward after this contest because it's a hot dress". Wait, wouldn't a hot dress win? What's he talking about?

Tim Gunn and Alison are concerned because her model is "large". And she wants her dress to look "modern and young" and not "puffy and matronly". Tim tears Kayne up and tells him his dress looks like a "high school crap project". Tim should write this column. Kayne bites his lip and looks like this close to bursting into tears and running from the room like the Nathan Lane in The Birdcage that he is. Even as he fixes it, Tim tells him that his dress is a "high school prom backdrop". Kayne wishes he was dead, and I begin an e-mail to Tim Gunn begging him to take over this column.

The designers return home in their hard hats and safety vests and Robert deadpans "another hard day at the waste management recycling center". Ok, his one-woman show might even be funny. The designers complain about how they're dirty from the challenge. Robert has glitter in his shoes. This column writes itself. Laura sleeps in Capris and a white blouse?

The next day. RUNWAY! Designers fit models. It's going badly. The models look really uncomfortable. And then Laura expresses disdain for Kayne and Alison's styling choices. And proceeds to inform Kayne of this and the bitches start brawling.

Laura tells Kayne that she wonders about his choices sometimes, and Kayne replies that he wonders about her character and reminds her that he was in the top three last challenge. And that he's not going to be berated on camera and that's just "bullshit". He's obviously rattled, and he leaves and Laura has a smug grin on her face and let's face it, she's Sauron - Lord of Mordor where the shadows lie. She's in it to win it, and the psychological warfare is all part of her gameplan. Oh, and I can't wait until she squares off with Nina Garcia someday. I hope they sell tickets.

Vince tells us that his dress "got him off" (!!!) and that it was art, like a "child's drawing". That should be a clue. Heidi's hair is a sexy, tousled mess. Models walk. Our guest judge is Rachel Zoe, celebrity stylist. Who? Whatever. My favorite part of this episode is Vincent watching his model, mentioning once again that his dress "got him off", and them cutting to Nina Garcia's disgusted face. Nina Garcia should act out this column in mime. And what was Vincent doing with that dress?

Judges confront designers. And the judges act like Vincent is a bad smell. Yikes. Vincent is full on confrontational, telling them that his dress turned him on, and was "artsy". His model is gonna want to steel wool brush her skin after taking that thing off. What was he doing with that dress? And there is some discussion about how his model couldn't walk in it. Which was true. The judges rave about Laura's dress, and Jeffrey makes with the eye rolling. Kayne's dress is as awful as he knew it was, and Kors tells him that he's "stepped over the boundaries of taste". Heidi lets us know that Alison's model looks "huge" and like a "plus model" so we now know that she has a "No Fat Chicks" bumper sticker on her Porsche. The model looks horrified. Granted, the Minnie Mouse bow of hair on her head looks retarded. Kors slashes Alison with accusations of crumpled dinner napkins and paper brioches. Alison looks like she wishes her winged unicorn would sweep in and whisk her away to her Palace of Beautiful Dreams and away from all the negativity.

Judges judge. Nina Garcia says that Kayne went from Marilyn Monroe to 'Franken-STEIN", and I love how she emphasizes the "STEIN". Heidi sort of defends Vincent, which makes me like her, and then she emphasizes the heft of Alison's model which makes me hate her. Alison tears up backstage beautifully - like multi-faceted raindrops of tragedy.

Michael wins again, and Jeffrey seethes. MICHAEL! I liked Jeffrey's dress better, but what the hell. He tells us that Michael's design was the equivalent of "diabetic food, no flavor". Odd, and yet harsh. And who is going home? Kayne is saved - that Manic Panic splotch was a good-luck charm. Heidi tells Vincent that there is a fine line between innovation and insanity. TAKE NOTES, VINCENT. Alison is out. Oh my god, the lily pad princess is gone. All the creatures of fairyland's heads are bowed. The rainbow has shattered! And then cut to Laura (and her decrepit exposed nipple) FREAKING out on Vincent about how his model couldn't walk. Things get ugly, like at a will reading. Laura is trouble. Things are getting uglier. We'll miss you, Empress of Fantasia.

Next week - I'm guessing someone eventually slaps Laura?