In a shocking twist, Kevin Federline is pissed off that his lunch ticket dumped his talentless, herb-smoking ass. According to US Online, he penned some heartfelt poetry about his current sitch on the day after Britney made a break for it - Nov. 8. Foregoing beautiful parchment stationary, he used a Sharpie marker and the shower door of his dressing room at the House of Blues in Chi-town. This bitch is school on Sunday, no class at all. It read:
Today I'm a free man Ladies look out Fuck a wife Give me my kids Bitch!
More on K-Fed's scrawl after the jump.
Us Exclusive: K-Fed Communicates With Britney Through Shower Door [US Weekly]
Written by J. Harvey
Is that iambic pentameter? Ladies, you'd better heed his warning. You too could have an imbecilic jackass male future welfare momma on your couch, eating your Funions and hogging all the space on your DVR with repeats of WWE and BET's 106 & Park.
He also signed off on it in the MIDDLE of the stanza. This guy is such a tool. He's like the most hated man in America for turning Britney from hot blonde pinup to dumpy barefoot child-endangering Cheeto inhaler. Seriously, people would rather have O.J. marry their daughters or Pete Doherty get money out of the ATM for them then deal with this idjit. And he just keeps adding fuel to his fire. Did ya know they have to give away tickets to his shows? I weep for this Surreal Life future. He gets a dressing room? Seriously? There's no changing in the alley out back? Then again, doesn't Dan Ackroyd partially own the House of Blues or something? Now I get it. It's like an Underground Railroad for has-beens. Oh, and I'm sure any judge would be THRILLED to award him total custody of French Fry and Ring Ding or whatever those kids are named. Hey kids, doesn't this stripper I brought back from Vegas to be your new caregiver look a little like your Mom? Same stretch marks!
kelly says:
Wow, that makes me wonder if he also wrote his own vows??
anelanaeole says:
Yes he did, Kelly.
They went something like this:
Yo yo yo, B-rizzle
You be is my lady fo shizzle
I promith to lub you
For all that you are
Now gib me some money
So I can buy me a car
No Hondas for dis dogg
No Porsche no Benz
I wants a ferrari
So I can gets me some friends
And gib me some money
So I can raps me some joints
To drop on a rekkid
Dat'll be bounced off dem charts
And gib me some chillens
Dat I'll use when you dig
To gets me more money
Cuz I gots two more to feed
And for shizzle I'll give you
Sumthin you nevah had
I'll give you fevah baby
But da rash won't be dat bad
All you need is dis pill
one week a month
Valtrex ain't dat expensive
I know cuz I gots it like dat
So B-rizzle lets do dis
Before I gets cold feet
But just say I do cuz I hungry
And I wants to eat.
For reals
You Know!
Word to ya mutha.
Ice Ice Baby...