I'm Not Obsessed has a copy of a message Britney posted on her website. I'll help ya'll translate.
It's been so long since I've been out on the town with friends...And had that many drugs.
It's also been 2 years since I've even celebrated my birthday...Getting knocked up twice by your scrub back-up dancer can cause you to overlook your b-day.
Every move I make at this point has been magnified more than I expected..When she says "magnified", she means the entrance to her womb.
And I probably did take my new-found freedom a little too far...Sugar, you let Paris Hilton hold your kid...that's not freedom, that's child endangerment.
More of Britney Spears' thoughts after the jump.
Anyway, thank God for Victoria's Secret's new underwear line!It's not like you've been utilizing it...
I look forward to a new year, new music, and a new me.I hope a "new me" means no more dyking it up with Paris and Lindsay and cutting your coke with Strawberry Quik. Seriously, grow a pair and snort rails without mixers like the rest of us do. Pussy.
I'm just getting started, happy holidays everyone! Britney"I'm just getting started". It's like a letter to the police from the world's whoriest serial killer.
God bless her trailer trash heart. What would we do without Britney and all her wonderful foibles? Probably feel a lot less skeevy and there would be a lot less shaking of the head and mourning the days of a hot little number in a Catholic school outfit. And remember when she was with JT and lying that she was a virgin? Those days seem almost Biblically chaste compared to the Britney of now. *sigh*
I need a life.
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