Congratulations to the Campari Calendar Contest Winners!

At the risk of exposing the fact that most of our readers are clearly just as capable of doing my job as I am, I'm very happy to announce that the top five entries for the limited edition 2007 Campari calendar featuring Salma Hayek have been chosen. Woo hoo!

Each entrant was instructed to answer the following question:

"What's your passion?"

Continue reading for the complete list of winners and responses...

Thanks, first of all, to both Campari for providing the calendars, as well as to all of our readers who submitted responses.

And now, in no particular order, here is the list of what I thought were the top five most compelling answers:

"Salma is my passion. Honestly. I'm a huge fan. I just returned from Iraq with the US Army. I named my Humvee Salma 6 and it has her name stenciled on the windshield. She is my screensaver and is plastered all over my walls." -SSG Davis

"While my passion for life is film and laughter, I feel that those passions are diminished, if not irrelevant, when I view the beauty that is Salma Hayek. I'm hypnotized to her bosom; especially, when they are displayed with a virtual landing strip of diamonds, leading to the runway of heaven.

When spoken on the same page, heaven cheapens her name. I apologize.

Salma Hayek, I love you." -Robert Berris

"My passion is my husband, and my husband's passions are me and Salma Hayek. And if I won this calendar and was able to give to him as a gift, I might be able to move a little bit ahead of Salma. But since he can't have Salma, he will at least be able to look at her every month." -Rachel Bullard

"As if you couldn't already tell, my passion is BILL OEFELEIN.......I LOVE HIM!!!!!!! WE HAVE TO BE TOGETHER!!!!!! I'LL STOP AT NOTHING I SWEAR TO GOD ILL DO ANYTHING....ILL KILL ANYONE....ILL KILL MYSELF IF I CANT BE WITH HIM!!!!

Look Bill, baby, I don't mean to scare you, but what we had up there in, y'know, space? It was special. Your soft touch at zero gravity made me feel alive, maybe for the first time. Remember in that interview when you said, "A lot of folks who do that test-pilot work also went on to fly space shuttles."? To that I say, yeah and a lot of people who fly space shuttles fall in love. I don't want to scare you, but you have to trust me. I know what's best for both of us.

I'm looking at you through high-powered binoculars as I write this. It's almost like we're together! I can't wait to see you aga WHA WHOS ON THE PHONE BILLY????? WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO BILLY???? ITS THAT WHORE COLLEEN ISNT IT???? THATS IT!!!!!!! IM LEAVING FOR FLORIDA!!!!! SHELL SEE WHOS READY TO GO THE DISTANCE!!!!