Jessica Alba is lucky. Normally, I'd be all up and down her seeing as I find her to be kind of a dickhead what with the not liking being Latina and always bitching about how her beauty is a curse. But Mike Myers has proven himself to be the bigger dickhead in this story! You're free to go, Jessica. They're filming "The Love Guru" (probably one of those godawful movies that will result in four sequels and way too many catchphrases) in Canada and Mike's being a real dickus on the set.
We're told Mike has two male assistants follow him constantly, one to shield his fair skin with a personal umbrella and another to hold a fresh bottle of water with a straw for sipping."And Mike gets easily distracted by the sun hitting any reflective surfaces, so he makes people run around the movie with black tape to cover each one," says our snitch.
"When filming is outside, the sun moves and before you know it, there's black tape covering everything and people running around with rolls of it."
My beautiful friend and co-worker Lisa Timmons has coined the term "douche-dar". Mike is setting mine off right now. Keep reading for details on both he and Alba are doing the fullbody dry heave on the dance floor.
Photos: PacificCoastNews.com
"He's a terrible dancer, and he had so much trouble getting the moves down that he changed the Bollywood scene until it was actually flamenco dance moves," laughs our source. (The scenery, however, is still Indian.)And Alba was so bad, "Every shot cuts the feet out of the screen so no one can compare her missteps to the backup dancers! She's actually very nice and quiet, just so bad at dancing."
Wasn't she in a movie called "Honey" in which she played the world's prettiest hip-hop dancer? Was that all faked? Imagine you're a director/crew member/choreographer/producer/someone who has to work with assholes in Hollywood and some egotistical movie star changes the entire scene because he's too lame-ass to rehearse something and get it right? Must be nice. The Bollywood choreographer is out of a job because dumbass is too busy to thinking he's Count Dracula to rehearse. Thanks, Mike. Just use your "Austin Powers" money to have the sun turned off, Precious.
Attica says:
Total bullshit. Mike Myers lives in my neighborhood in NYC and I see him out on the street all the time... He's a totally normal dude. He even held the door to the bodegs open for me once. I don't know why he always gets such a bad rep for being a douche... Motherfucker's pasty, though.
bluemoon says:
A few years back I heard from someone who worked on Austin Powers that Mike Meyers was indeed an a-hole on set. Apparently in all his makeup he got very warm, and requested someone be blowing a fan on his face at all times. When it wasn't blowing on him he got very testy. He is a total pain in the butt.
Rufusbaron says:
Nearly every hot chick can dance just fine because all you have to do shake your ass and swivel your boobs and you're good. I'm sure Alba dances her ass off at a club. She probably had trouble doing whatever retarded dance they dreamed up for her in this movie. As for Meyers, I'm sure he is pretty close to Doucheville, if he's not mayor. He totally wigged out when Kanye railed President Bush. A kick-ass guy would have handled that better.
Scrillobi Won Kinobi says:
In re: Alba's dancing - I believe it to be true and have been saying this for years.. check out how she dances in the movie Idle Hands.. During the last scene at the school when she's wearing the angel costume - chic looks like she's having a stroke - comparible to homegirl from Seinfield!
(o_O)
Axeldee says:
NO KIDDING ME! I CAN'T BELEIVE MYKE IS A JACKASS...I MEAN HE IS SO POPULAR AND STUFF...
http://www.spymac.com/details/?2283234
Mr. Johnson says:
OK, Jessica, you've made your point. We won't call you a Latina.