Does China Know That Britney Spears Is Attempting To Adopt Chinese Twins?

Photos: INFDaily.com

This story is so fully ridiculous, and it's from News of the World so you know the value of that. But I like the idea of Britney Spears all shittoed and her weave half in her face. And she's laying across the bed in her hotel room at the Four Seasons, because you know she never likes to stay at home and has a weird thing for checking into hotels. So she's laying across the bed and drunk and she forgot to put the Do Not Disturb sign on the door. And the maid comes in and she's like "I clean the room?" and Britney's like "sure, girl. You clean that room but I'm gonna jist lay here. You wanna make out?" And the maid's like "no ma'am". Britney's like "thass alright. I got cramps anyway. You got any Ho-Ho's?" And the maid's like "Ho-Ho's ma'am? No, sorry." And then Britney starts talking about how she's thinking about adopting twins from China. Which she mentions inbetween talking about how she wants a LIFESIZE chocolate fountain "not one of them teenytiny ones that are no good at all" and how she's plotting to steal her biological children back via the hot air balloon from the Wizard of Oz. Hearing this, Juana leaves and tells her supervisor that "Ms. Spears is thinking of adopting Chinese babies!" And her supervisor sold it to News of the World. Ok, you know that's not exactly how it happened. But close. Reports state that Brit is trying to fill the void left behind since Kevin Federline got full custody of their two kids. Allegedly she's in final talks with an adoption agency? What kind of low-rent adoption agency would give this crazy two children to take care of? She probably wants them because she wants someone to be able to do her nails 24-7. In other news, she apparently thinks she's going to die soon and has already planned her own funeral to the tune of $25,000. People are just calling the rags with anything now. Soon, she'll be planning on colonizing Venus.

A source close to Britney told me: "It doesn't seem that Britney has thought this through completely. Adoption and a funeral? The two don't exactly go hand-in-hand.

"Paying for a funeral is a sensible thing to do--but not when you're only 25!

"It's a case of too much, too soon with Britney.

"Not a week goes by without something strange happening to her now. She's doing herself no favours."

Photos: INFDaily.com/Splash

More photos of Britney Spears doing some shopping at Virgin Records after the jump.