Oh Honey, Even Jesus Can't Help You Now

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BRITNEY SPEARS HAS BOOK ON JESUS AND PLANS PRICEY MAKEOVER

Oh it's always the most effed up people that start flailing Jesus around in a reform bid. I'm not a religious type, but if I was that Jesus guy I'd be like "bitch, I am not your damn safety net!" Recent reports put Britney Spears's planned plastic surgery procedure tab at around $81,000. This is kind of a mark-up from when we previously reported that she is allegedly planning to have numerous procedures done. The initial estimate of her actual tab to date is 15,000. Jesus, someone must have cleaned the frappucinoi leavins' off the big mirror in her chamber and she got a good look. Reports say that Britney's planned procedures now include "liposuction of the abdomen, hips and thighs ($18,000); a breast lift with change of silicone implants ($25,000); a mini tummy tuck ($18,000); and work on her nose ($20,000). Uh, why doesn't she just have a clone made of her and tweak the DNA a little to back when she was hot? And then do some kind of mind transfer. It's 2007, they can work wonders nowadays. Then again, a clone with no brain function is probably smarter than her. Nix the mind meld.


BRITNEY SPEARS HAS BOOK ON JESUS AND PLANS PRICEY MAKEOVERBRITNEY SPEARS HAS BOOK ON JESUS AND PLANS PRICEY MAKEOVERBRITNEY SPEARS HAS BOOK ON JESUS AND PLANS PRICEY MAKEOVER
Photos: WENN

See more photos of Britney and her latest read after the jump.

BRITNEY SPEARS HAS BOOK ON JESUS AND PLANS PRICEY MAKEOVERBRITNEY SPEARS HAS BOOK ON JESUS AND PLANS PRICEY MAKEOVERBRITNEY SPEARS HAS BOOK ON JESUS AND PLANS PRICEY MAKEOVERBRITNEY SPEARS HAS BOOK ON JESUS AND PLANS PRICEY MAKEOVERBRITNEY SPEARS HAS BOOK ON JESUS AND PLANS PRICEY MAKEOVERBRITNEY SPEARS HAS BOOK ON JESUS AND PLANS PRICEY MAKEOVERBRITNEY SPEARS HAS BOOK ON JESUS AND PLANS PRICEY MAKEOVERBRITNEY SPEARS HAS BOOK ON JESUS AND PLANS PRICEY MAKEOVER




13 Comments

Every which way she turns, the Jesus pic is always showing towards the paps! LOL! Nice try, Brit. She really has packed on the weight! Guess she figures she'll have it all sucked out anyway, so binge away!

I think if HE could, He wouldn't!!

There are still people stupid enough to use silicone implants? Big tits are worth dying for?
The stuff is highly poisonous, but whatever Brit.

What is it about Jesus that riles you and others? Is it because He doesn't judge people as we do? Or is it because no matter what we do He will continue to love us? People of all kinds when going through rough times fall back upon Christ because we know he can see us through the rough spots.

I think the point regarding Jesus, tneill, is that a lot of people who "fall back upon Christ" in hard times didn't have a relationship with him BEFORE the hard times. Like, oh...Paris Hilton for example. After she was facing prison time, all of a sudden she started carrying around a bible. And like all the people who go to prison who suddenly "find Jesus".

I don't think J. got "riled" about Jesus, but about the hypocrisy of embracing his teachings when the chips are down, and ignoring him the rest of time.

Well said, Spaz. Now, can someone PUHleaze explain that ridiculous, ever-present hat? It looks like something a birdwatching Florida retiree would wear for his big shuffleboard match.

December 7, 2007 12:48 PM

and while you're at it, can you also explain the horrible ratty falling-out weave, the cluster of zits that wont heal, the Lee press-ons that dont stay on, the grown out eyebrows...etc, etc, etc

thanks, jbo. I feel the same way about people. I'm no zealot, but it does bother me that people are so hypocritical that way. If you want to lean on God when you're down, you should also honor him when things are good.

as for the hat, I think it's to cover up those nasty-ass extensions she has. they look like worms trying to escape from her scalp. She should just take them out and rock the short hair.

root, I'd say the cluster of zits is actually meth-related, but who knows? but the press-ons and the brows?...sorry, I got NO answer for those except that she's a mentally ill narcissist that has a horribly warped self-image.

Jesus isn't just a symbol...HE IS THE SOLUTION!

December 7, 2007 6:00 PM

Of all the people it could have been, who'd have thought a few years back that the new Courtney Love could be BRITNEY? It's sort of astonishing. Has Courtney been giving her lessons on crazy?

Does she really think her problem is cellulite?

Reading this I can't help but think of that song that RuPaul did his Christmas album years ago--"All I Want For Christmas Is My Breast Implants."

Reading this I can't help but think of that song that RuPaul did his Christmas album years ago--"All I Want For Christmas Is My Breast Implants."

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