John Mayer looks like he's headed on a trip here--possibly to escape the clutches of a former flame? In a post on his blog, John felt the need to address an "Ex Lover" in a letter, telling his fans at the beginning of the post not to "read too far into this on a personal level. (There are no hidden messages)... I just thought it sums up how crazy love can be."
I would summarize what he wrote, except that I wouldn't want you guys to possibly miss some subtext I was too much of a dolt to see myself. So, here it is:
Dear Ex Lover,
Perhaps you didn't understand the last time I told you to stop contacting me, so I'll do my best to spell it out for you. I do not wish to have you in my life anymore.
I don't know how much more clear I can be about it. It would serve you best to move on with your life and find someone who can put up with you, because I'm done trying.
I hope this is enough closure for you.
Goodbye.
P.S. If you need me, you know how to find me.
I hope this is real and I hope that it's Jessica Simpson, just cause it would totally serve his ass right for defending her against Dallas, only to have it blow up in his face with her then stalking him behind her current boyfriend's back. MWAHAHA! That's what you get for being nice! Also, you should never tell a stalking ex "you know how to find me," cause they usually already do. It's just being redundant.
Photos: BauerGriffinOnline.com
More photos of John Mayer, plus who do you think John Mayer was writing about? Take the poll, after the jump.
Photos: BauerGriffinOnline.com
Hey Cupcake says:
Wait a minute. "See ya, adios, au revoir, piss off, don't let the screen door hit you on the way out, don't contact me, goodbye forever. Oh, and P.S. - If you need me, you know how to find me."
Seriously????
Speaking as someone all-too-familiar with passive-aggressive bullshit, this guy is a fucking twit.
starbucks says:
i don't know why but ever since he was with jessica simpson he has been super hot!!!!!!
I'm not saying he's because he dated her but ever since that momnent in time he has been much better looking and attractive like the way ben affleck regained his hotness after dating jennifer lopez.
SomeoneWhoWishesJohnMayerWouldSTFU says:
I'd cherish destroying a '59 Les Paul Sunburst...by smashing it over this attention-whore's head. Anyone else remember that episode where Chris spray-painted "That's enough, John Mayer" on a wall? You'd think he would have gotten the hint then, but NO.......
dee says:
Even though I love John Mayer so much, I appreciate ANYONE who can tie some Family Guy into whatever the subject is :)
ICONNIC says:
I just want to say, John Mayer is C-R-A-Z-Y and attention starved. 1st He wants you to belive this is about Jessica Simpson because he's so full of himself that he can't beleive that Jessica found someone who really cares for her, so he does this dumb attention grabbing thing. How sick he is. It probably isn't really even about Jessica. I mean how many women has he hooked up with. Some of them i was even shocked would allow themselves to be photographed with him. But I guess that's tinsel town for you. All tinsel and nothing else.
I felt bad that Jessica at the time didn't realize she was with an abusing type man when she was with JM. First she changed her appearance to totally fit in with him and all he did was dogg her. WAs I there? No. but it was pretty evident from the photos all about. Dark hair, gaining weight, letting herself go. Jessica should accept herself for who she is, a girly-girl with not very much going on, she's like a cream puff and he took himself too seriously. Anywhoo, She's rid of him and he CAN'T STAND IT. So he does this. And like i said, this ISN'T REALLY ABOUT JESSICA AT ALL. He just wants everyone to THINK IT IS. HE'S SICK AND HE'S FULL OF HIMSELF.
ICONNIC says:
I just want to say, John Mayer is C-R-A-Z-Y and attention starved. 1st He wants you to belive this is about Jessica Simpson because he's so full of himself that he can't beleive that Jessica found someone who really cares for her, so he does this dumb attention grabbing thing. How sick he is. It probably isn't really even about Jessica. I mean how many women has he hooked up with. Some of them i was even shocked would allow themselves to be photographed with him. But I guess that's tinsel town for you. All tinsel and nothing else.
I felt bad that Jessica at the time didn't realize she was with an abusing type man when she was with JM. First she changed her appearance to totally fit in with him and all he did was dogg her. WAs I there? No. but it was pretty evident from the photos all about. Dark hair, gaining weight, letting herself go. Jessica should accept herself for who she is, a girly-girl with not very much going on, she's like a cream puff and he took himself too seriously. Anywhoo, She's rid of him and he CAN'T STAND IT. So he does this. And like i said, this ISN'T REALLY ABOUT JESSICA AT ALL. He just wants everyone to THINK IT IS. HE'S SICK AND HE'S FULL OF HIMSELF.
Elaine Benes says:
In relationships it goes both ways. Your ex is not over you but you want to move on. A guy I used to date was the same way. he was so suffocating I had to break it off but he'd still call wanting to patch things up. It made me runaway even quicker.If I could I'd have joined a witness relocation program.
Elaine Benes says:
On second thought, this is John Mayer. If he ended the letter "you know where to reach me", I'm thinking it's another one of his media pranks. He's known for his sarcastic sense of humor.
Loob says:
"P.S. If you need me, you know how to find me."
Yeah...
I agree with everyone who thinks he's a sick, passive aggressive fucktard.
I wonder if he's aware that that last sentence completely negated everything else he said. Nice work psycho, we totally believe you have hand.
Kelly says:
It's a joke...He's a prankster. Get over it. And I doubt it would be about Jessica anyway. He said 'move on with your life and find someone who can put up with you.' Hello? She has.
HelenSparkles says:
He says "The blog - copied from my lyric/idea journal, is all about the P.S. - it's a writing technique called "deceptive resolution"; you think the story is going one way, only to find that it twists around at the end, using all its momentum to swing in another direction. In this instance, the writer of the missive is saying in as many certain terms as possible that he does not want to see his ex anymore. At the end, the P.S. leaves that all too common contradiction in terms that makes love so messed up. I call it "I wish you were here so I could tell you to leave"."