We're not buying it, Eva Mendes! You were doing research, Kirsten Dunst was sad, and Steve Tyler's foot hurt. Say it with me, bbbbbbbbbuullllllssssshhhhhhhhiiiiiittttttt! Here's Matt Damon accepting one of the trophies he won at the Spike TV Guy Awards last night.

The ceremony was held in LA, and celebrated all things..."guy." Damon won for "Guy of the Year" and his role as amnesiac spy Jason Bourne earned him a second award. Robert Downey Jr. won for "Best Guy Movie of the Year" for Iron Man. And Brendan Fraser, who's hairline is receding quicker than mine so I feel a lot better about my power alleys, presented Harrison Ford with an award. Harrison grabbed his package in thanks. Stop it, you're 65. Maybe he was adjusting his hernie truss.

Cameron Diaz won a gong for a Decade of Hotness. Oh man, is that gag order on snark because she lost her Dad recently wearing thin. This is a tough one. Like, I'm chomping at the bit. Ok, it passed.

Someone please tell Jack Black to sit down.

Photos: Getty Images

20 more photos from the Spike TV Guy Awards featuring Cameron Diaz, Harrison Ford, Russell Brand, Brendan Fraser, Megan Fox, Steve Carell, John Cho, Kal Penn, Eva Mendes, Matt Damon, Jack Black, Natalie Martinez, Jason Statham, Kat Von D, Chuck Liddell and Adam Sandler are after the jump.

Conservator Jamie Spears is doing his job. His daughter Britney Spears was going to get together with a Danish designer named Claus Hjelmbak to create a line of shabby-chic Scandinavian furniture. Because, why not? When I think of Scandinavian furniture, I think of Britney. IKEA holds nothing for me anymore. I want Scandanavian furniture that I can neglect children on.

Anyway, Britney was specifically supposed to supervise a piece called "Woofy." "Woofy" would be a pink and blue plastic dog that you hide the electrical wires in your home in. Subtle. Seriously, just leave the wires out.

Jamie Spears decided to end the potential deal because he felt like Clause was just trying to get publicity via Britney. Oh?

Here's Britney Spears leaving Ballys Gym. Hopefully she didn't cause a ruckus this time. Intern Traci was bullshit, and she may seem adorable and sweet but she will reign fire down on your ass!

Photos: FlynetOnline.com

More photos of Britney Spears leaving Ballys in Culver City are after the jump.

Don't worry, she's fine. Lindsay Lohan and her whatever it is that's going on there Samantha Ronson were seen entering Century City Hospital on Thursday night. Samantha provided some sort of distraction while Lindsay broke into a cabinet to steal drugs. Well, what else does "visiting a sick friend" mean? These two don't have any friends! They just have each other! Well, Lindsay has the cameras, too. And if Sammy hasn't caught onto that by now, she's one dumb dyke.

"Lindsay went to the hospital to visit a friend," says her rep. "She is in rehearsal today for her film Labor Pains." Samantha knocked her up?

After managing to get enough Oxycodone to last the next couple of hours, Lohan and Ronson went to nightclub Goa where Samantha dj'ed.

UPDATE: Ah hah! Lindsay Lohan's extremely shy mother Dina confirms that the "visiting a sick friend" story was a lie. She says that Linds was having an asthma attack.

"She was losing oxygen. She couldn't breathe. She was afraid to go the hospital because [the paparazzi] were gonna write about it. She was sick," Dina said at an event for Project Cuddle. "If you were sick, and you're mother couldn't even take you to a hospital because paparazzi will fabricate some story, you know, it's sad. It's really sad."

Dina Lohan supporting something called "Project Cuddle" is like Amy Winehouse supporting "Project Sober." I'm not seeing it. Dina also referred to Samantha as an "angel." Lindsay's vagina angel.

Photos: WENN

And we thank him for it. It's about time for some pretty. Jackman tool a little swim at Bondi Beach in Sydney. The actor was accompanied by a less furry friend. 18 more photos of a shirtless Hugh Jackman, and his shirtless buddy, are after the jump.

Photos: PacificCoastNewsOnline

The queen of the crack attack, Amy Winehouse, actually showed up to perform at the Rock in Rio festival in Portugal. Sure, she was an hour late. But she's on crackhead time. Winehouse complained of a sore throat, but she performed a full set.

"I should have cancelled but wanted to be here so much," she croaked. Crack smoke is probably murder on the throat. Whenever I smoke a cigarette when I'm drinking (and I have to be REAL drunk for that to happen) I always wake up the next day feeling like someone took a cheese grater to my throat. I can't imagine what it feels like after sucking the glass dick all day.

Amy's rep covered for her crack tardiness.

"Amy was overwhelmed by the goodwill shown by the audience in Lisbon and even apologised for her below par vocals on stage, after suffering from a sore throat all week," he said.

"She was given the option to cancel, but was determined to take her first step back on to the live scene and although her throat was not at 100%, Amy felt it important for fans to see that she is back working at her craft. She will continue to her comeback at events throughout the summer."

Enabler! The crowd reportedly gave her shit when she first showed up, but then gave her a "warm welcome." Let's face it. It's Amy Winehouse. Her showing up is like hitting on a scratch ticket. And there's a better chance of hitting on a scratchie.

She would make the hottest basketball coach ever. "Wankers! Put the bleedin' ball in the basket! This bolllocksy sore won't heal on me face!"

Photos: BauerGriffinOnline

More photos of Amy Winehouse with some young fans after the jump.

Photos: WENN

Charlie Sheen tied the knot with real estate investor Brooke Mueller last night in a small ceremony at a private estate in Los Angeles. His ex-wife and current reality tv...star(?) Denise Richards told the Valentine in the Morning radio show yesterday that she would be sending a gift. I hope his ass had bomb-sniffing dogs and one of those airport x-ray things. It wouldn't be pleasant having to get married missing your face.

"[I'll send] something from the girls," Richards said. "At the end of the day, he's their dad," she said of Sheen. "They have to understand that."

Bitch, they would probably understand it better if you two weren't constantly having these completely trashy battles which they're going to be able to read about on the Internet in three years. Kids start early on the computers these days. Sam, 4, and Lola Rose, soon to be 3, are going to be in a therapist's office eventually. They're going to be either laughing or crying and talking about the "tranny prostitute-infested sperm incident."

Photos: FlynetOnline.com

The story continues, and more photos of the event, are after the jump.

We're just reporting it as we get it, folks. Numerous media outlets (including People magazine and E! news) are sticking by the "Angelina Jolie did not give birth" story. There was a crazy flurry of activity (yes, we know there's a war on and an election coming up, but this is important, too!) yesterday when it appeared that Angelina might have given birth to twin girls.

Names were even reported! The girls were said to have been named Isla Marcheline and Amelie Jane and to have been born via C-section at a Catholic clinic in Aix-en-Provence. By the way, Marcheline and Jane are the names of Angie and Brad's moms, respectively. Anyway, it's untrue. UNTRUE! Supposedly.

Geyer Kosinski is Angelina's manager and he says the story is "not true." And Brad's manager Cynthia Pett-Dante dismisses it "as a rumor."

Well, there ya have it. Angie and Brad are still supposed to be moving into a 1,000-acre, $60 million estate, with 35 bedrooms, a vineyard and a moat, just outside Aix-en-Provence in France. When she does give birth, she could always have one of those water births in the moat. It seems gross, but it also feels very historical medieval romance and I can sort of see her being into that. She wants to be one with history.

Photos: INFDaily.com

More photos of Angelina Jolie are after the jump.

Photos: FlynetOnline

Find out who the owner is after the jump.

Photos: WENN

More photos of Holly Hunter being honored with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame after the jump.

The Coen Brothers have released the trailer for their latest flick, "Burn After Reading," which stars Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Tilda Swinton, Frances McDormand, John Malkovich and Richard Jenkins.