Angelina Jolie Is An Earth Goddess

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This picture kinda wigged me out. Angelina Jolie looks flawless, but that weird goddess dress and the crazy eyes are doing my head in. Is she Gaia come to punish us all for polluting the Earth? Brad doesn't want to talk about it, but she looks like she's going to start shooting lightning out of her mouth and then flood the earth for our betrayal!

Here's snaps from the premiere of her Clint Eastwood-directed film The Changeling (though it might actually be retitled The Exchange) at Cannes. Angelina plays Christine Collins, who's 9-year-old son goes missing in 1920s California. When the cops return the boy to her, she rrealizes he isn't hers and Christine has to fight the corrupt LAPD who want to make the case disappear. I'm curious as to how they tried to pull this off. Were people not that bright in the 1920s? They just passed her a different kid? I need to see this!

I hope Phoebe Price and Victoria Silvstedt are the first whores to be zapped by Angie's goddess power. What are those Z-list bitches doing there? How did they afford the airfare?

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Photos: Getty Images

22 more photos from the premiere of Changeling at Cannes featuring Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, Clint Eastwood, Sean Combs, Sharon Stone, Michelle Yoeh, Victoria Silvstedt, Dita Von Teese, Tim Robbins and Phoebe Price are after the jump.

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Photos: Getty Images




10 Comments

May 20, 2008 6:25 PM

Too cute how Jolie outshines and out glamours any woman near her..

the plotline is based on a true story of a single mother who took on a corrupt la police dept.

"flawless" and "crazy eyes" are mutually exclusive!

May 20, 2008 8:19 PM

The child disappears and reappears as a Jew, it's been brainwashed into the Satan cult. Happy is the perfect choice of actresses to play the mother because she wears a dragon tattoo which symbolizes Satan. It twists into an "S." She also has a cross on her vadge which says f the Christian church.

Then you have her Jewish puppetmasters to pick the right movies for her, as in far right, as in right wing, as in Jew propaganda films.

Then you have the Hollywood Jew Bryan Graser standing behind her in the photo going, "Don't worry tool, we'll get that dress for you to wear another day. The one with your hero Lar. Silverstein who pulled the towers down in an act of terrorism. You can wear it, don't worry, don't cry, smile. We Jews can do anything, even murder 3000 Americans in broad daylight and still be perceived as victims. You see? It's not a problem. We'll get you that Henry Kissinger dress too. He killed Kennedy but if you want to wear his ugly face on your dress, you will be doing us Jews a favor. We like to rub our crimes against humanity in American faces. We are body snatcher, chamelions, changlings. We steal other people's bodies so no one knows we're Jews, like Beckham and you and Garcia. We steal other races bodies so that we can hide our Jewness. Then we get away with stealing more money and property. Come on, you know that's the only way we know how to make money. Now don't worry about that dress. We'll get you one with David Rockerfeller on it. We have a shot of him taking a dump on the economies of Japan, Russia, England, America and Germany. We Jews run the Federal Reserve Board. How about a dress showing Spielberg filming Americans on high on drugs while Rockerfeller pulls all the money out of the Federal Reserve Bank while the Rothchilds shoot heroine into the childrens veins and pass out Ambien to all drivers who then fall to sleep and crash into one another killing innocent American babes? You want that, you got it. Cause you're the best tool. Come on, we gotta steal bodies, we're uglier than sin."

May 20, 2008 8:40 PM

One of the Hollywood Jew puppetmasters is in the background whispering in Happy's ear, that's why she has the crazy eyes. He's going, "Don't fear. We Jews know the Rockerfeller. They control the elections and the Federal Reserve Bank. We use taxpayers' money to control presidents since we killed Kennedy and installed the fascist Lyndon Johnson who slaughtered the Irish in Vietnam while we Jews ran guns and Americans' money to the communists. We created communists and al queda. We play all sides against each other. We fuel racism so that Jews will be ignored as weak harmless victims. Hey, it's a good gig. It pays well, just ask J.P. Morgan, the Rockerfeller cabal and the Rothchilds. No one suspects us because we played possum in WWII. It worked like a magic charm and you know we are really into magic. A loaf of bread anyone? A little yeast perhaps? How about some orange juice concentrate, it really goes a long ways, you know? It's like magic.

If you don't believe me, just remember that we Jews of Hollywood hired spies who threatened women's life and we Jews walked away unscathed. We didn't even take the stand. That's because we know the Rockerfeller cabal. We're in their back pocket. They hired us to spread propaganda through films and other mass media. We are the untouchables. We can murder those we've robbed, like most South Americans and no one even suspects us. I mean no one. They are all deaf, dumb and blind. Playing possum in WWII was the magic trick of all time. Because you know we are so not innocent. It's a good gig. We need tools. Now, smile tool. There's fun times ahead."

May 20, 2008 9:50 PM

I prefer her green dress, but this one probably looks better in person.

"Is she Gaia come to punish us all for polluting the Earth?"

No, she's Elizabeth Taylor.

Hide your snacks.

May 21, 2008 9:25 AM

I guess its true, there really are drugs in the water huh Snow Pie?

May 21, 2008 1:27 PM

who's the tranny with the horrible blonde wig, fake boobs, and lisa rinna lips? never seen her before, and dear god, hope i never do again!

May 21, 2008 3:09 PM

If it wasn't jolie this frock would be on the worse dress list. The hair all buffed up YUCK!!! She reminds me of a bad impression of Androa in 60's sitcom bewichted. She is a very good looking lady but this dress and the hairstyle does little for her.

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