America's Next Top Model: Clark Barred

Share     

ANTM-11.jpgPreviously - My T-Girl Isis was sent home. Hannah was, too. But that was a good thing because she was a small town and they don't have people who aren't asses there. Samantha showed her "fanny" (that's British for vagina) at Jeremy Scott's show and he gave her the business over it with his Brooklyn bangs and terrible no-sleeve bandleader jacket.

Clark gets the digital props back the house from Tyra. Clark went "balls to the wall" and that's how she got #1 photo. Now she's rubbing it in. Samantha brings up how Tyra yelled at her ass for Jeremy Scott. She's trying to think positive. Girl, if Elina can feel positive with a Tribble sewn to her melon, you can stay positive.

Marjorie isn't used to "positive mantras" and it's very flooring to her. Where is she from? Halloweenland? Christ. She feels like it's almost a cultural difference. Maybe it's a brain chemistry difference and you could use some Zoloft and a workout? Tyra Lesbian Mail! They should put her in an UPS outfit next.

Joslyn phones home to cry and she hasn't produced a good photo in week. Maybe some milk o' magnesia will help? The girls report to a warehouse where they're met with Paulina in a really bad power outfit. It doesn't fit. Paulina's here how to show them how to make even the most horrifying outfit look good.

Paulina's got water, chicken cutlets and duct tape for the girls. Oh lordy. This is going to be tore up! The girls have to re-fit clothes onto themselves with the help of the wacky accessories. Utilize these fake tits, Marjorie!

Marjorie doesn't see the judges as people she can talk to, she says. Is she having some sort of existential crisis? What is wrong with her? Maybe she should go to a psychic? She wants to die because she flubbed the challenge. She goes and leans  against a wall because she's light-headed with failure. This challenge is sucking the life out of this girl! She probably needs something to eat. I could probably use her arm to get the pastrami remnants out from in between my teeth. You didn't need to hear that.

Paulina asks after Marjorie's well-being. Marjorie begins sobbing. Joslyn suspects that Marjorie might have pinched her! Model foul-play! Instead of letting Marjorie sink into the background and pull herself together, Paulina interrogates her about her crazy in front of everyone.

Apparently, Paulina understands why Marjorie is having a breakdown because of her Gallic background. Majorie's. I think Paulina is a Communist or something (that's a joke). Anyway, Marjorie is very grateful that someone recognizes that her fragile mental state is due to her land of origin.

Samantha finds Marjorie to be a baby. McKey wins the challenge. I think McKey is already a model. The girls don bikinis and panties for the next Tyra challenge. Huh? Slumber party! Joslyn is excited to be a tornado in the assumed natural disaster challenge. Marjorie isn't sure what a natural disaster looks like. Has she seen Heroes this season?

The girls form an accusation circle to deal with Marjorie's negativity ethnicity. Joslyn senses that Marjorie's had several tough weeks due to "her nerves." Samantha and Marjorie square off about Marjorie's not wanting to be here. Elina raises her Tribble for two seconds like a cat that briefly has its attention diverted from a dead bird but then goes back to the bird. Nothing to see here.

Big Whitney wears her makeup while at home, and still hasn't found a job. The girls are stalked by a monster! Samantha, showing she's a teenage boy, notes that it looks like Predator vs. Alien. It's Mr. Jay in a costume!

The photographer's kinda bearish. I love it. The girls are going to be stalking cities as huge 60s natural disaster monsters! This is kind of a cool shoot! Clark is the worst blackout ever. She's practically sunshine. McKey looks like some sort of Swinging 60s trannie. She looks HOT but in an edgy uncomfy way. Phenomenal. Mr. Jay says that a "model finally showed up to set."

Samantha get shoved in the water as tidal wave chick. Don't get too excited, it's shallow water and she can probably swim. Marjorie's here as a traffic jam. She knows what that is. They have those in France. She feels like a fool afterwards because Jay had to pose her. She feels like she failed. Oh Margie. Stop. Before I call immigration.

Have Lauren Brie and Clark become lovers? Are they in the same bed? Clark mentions that she's not going home and talks about how many times she's noted her picture on the TV. Marjorie should suck her brain.

Tyra's here, drunk. Her eyes are hooded and I think she had a few glasses of Alize. If Bear Photographer Brian would cut his hair, he would be hotsy for real. Sheena's do-rag and flowy shirt do not turn the judges on. We get that vague you don't look like a model accusation. I still don't get it. Though, I know it's "not hoochie." Nigel is falling in love with Sheena. He's giggling and makes me want to mail Sheen a body alarm.

McKey is told she didn't act overheated enough, and we discover that Tyra can. The way Tyra says "is a dddissssaaasster" tells me she's in that stage she always gets into when she's had enough of the competition and starts acting "quirky." Ugh.

Nigel and Paulina get into it over her defense of Marjorie. Ms. Jay tells Nigel to get his back up off the wall, dance, come on. Lauren Brie is "cheese on ice" according to Paulina. Jealousy! Tyra and Ms. Jay melt on to each other. They should make an all-black remake of Suspiria. These too would fit in well.  Samantha gets best photo.

We're down to Clark and Joslyn. WOW. Clark! Looks like your uppity, cocky, bigoted ass can't rest on just one triumph now, can it? CLARK'S GONE! HAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH! Im actually shocked. I thought that they would keep Clark around for ages. Tyra mentions that personality had a lot to do with it. I guess so, because Clark has the personality of the a dirty urinal. She's crying. She owns tear ducts? Wow. She wears a tiara for her farewell. I prefer Isis' big ass Pit and the Pendulum entries.

Next - Tyra teaches posing, Elina needs tears. Someone tug on that Tribble. That'll work.






Leave a comment


Type the characters you see in the picture above.

Archive


Top Stories

Twilight Saga

THE TWILIGHT SAGA ARCHIVES

Robert Pattinson | Taylor Lautner | Kristen Stewart | Twilight | New Moon | Eclipse | Breaking Dawn | Alex Meraz | Kellan Lutz | Jackson Rathbone | Nikki Reed | Ashley Greene | Peter Facinelli | Cam Gigandet | Rachelle Lefevre | Dakota Fanning | Xavier Samuel | Bryce Dallas Howard | Christian Serratos | Elisabeth Reaser | Jack Houston

Hot Photos












Latest Stories on Celebuzz
Miley Cyrus Gives T-Squared Her Blessing

Miley Cyrus Gives T-Squared Her Blessing

PHOTO GALLERY: The 'I Dream of Audrina' Party

New Moon Cast Late Night TV Dates Confirmed

Read More On Celebuzz

Popular Tags

About ASL

Socialite Life provides your recommended daily dose of celebrity gossip, photos, & media speculation - brought to you in digestible bites. To be enjoyed with a martini (and with a sense of humor).

Managing Editor: Michael Prieve
Editors: Lisa Timmons and Miu von Furstenberg
Media Producer: Wayne Ford
Interns: Bailey Edwards, Jessika Marie, Kelly Lynch, Michelle Berger, Nadia Stuart, Nicole Steadman, Ricky Anderson, Lizzie B Vicious, Madison Ventura, Priscilla Rios, Samantha Eng

Got a hot tip for Socialitelife?
Email us at tips.socialitelife@gmail.com
Send us a tip via AIM

Follow us on Twitter, and check out our Facebook page.

FEEDS
Atom, RSS 1.0, RSS 2.0

Copyright © 2009
Fameish Media, LLC & A Socialite's Life.

Categories



















































































































































































































































































































blog advertising
is good for you

blog advertising
is good for you

blog advertising
is good for you

More fun sites