Bride Wars (Rated PG)
Gary Winick
Bride Wars: Quite possibly, the greatest movie smart people will ever see
For those of you who operate under the assumption that the wedding industry is a shallow, classist institution feeding on women's insecurities and perpetuating unrealistic notions about manufactured romance, sit back. Your ultimate fantasy film experience has arrived.
Bride Wars, starring Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway, is now in theaters, and it wants you to know that you are and always will be right.
You're right about the fact that it's ludicrous for a public school teacher to save up pennies for an entire decade in order to finance a ridiculously showy wedding that's clearly beyond her means (especially when it's obvious that she and her betrothed aren't even on solid ground).
You're right about the fact that it's almost as asinine for a rich lawyer to do this, but not quite as asinine because rich people can afford these kinds of things (and frankly, because rich couples are always on more solid ground than poor couples).
You're right about how pathetic it is for a woman to fixate more on sample-sized Vera Wang dresses, $50,000 reception venues, platinum foiled hair, and spray-on tans than on her husband-to-be.
You're right that that group of girls sitting behind you is stupid for gasping at a Tiffany's box and maybe even stupider for gasping again when they see that there's a five-caret emerald cut diamond inside.
You're right that everything written up until to this point is worded in kind of a classist and awful way and you're right to feel a little weird for agreeing with most of what's being said despite this.
Even better, you're right about things you didn't even know you were right about. You're right that a beautiful woman will never be able to make it work with a guy who's less attractive and more boring than her. You're right that every female friendship is really just a homicidal competition dressed up in pretty sweater sets and expensive running shoes. And you're right that the worst thing a woman can be is fat.
So sit back, dear reader. Pat yourself on the back. And enjoy that extra-large tub of popcorn with an added dollop of smugness, content in the fact that you are about to see the most satisfying movie that's ever been made about you and why you are always right.
Posted By: Kristen Meinzer
Gary Winick
Bride Wars: Quite possibly, the greatest movie smart people will ever see
For those of you who operate under the assumption that the wedding industry is a shallow, classist institution feeding on women's insecurities and perpetuating unrealistic notions about manufactured romance, sit back. Your ultimate fantasy film experience has arrived.
Bride Wars, starring Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway, is now in theaters, and it wants you to know that you are and always will be right.
You're right about the fact that it's ludicrous for a public school teacher to save up pennies for an entire decade in order to finance a ridiculously showy wedding that's clearly beyond her means (especially when it's obvious that she and her betrothed aren't even on solid ground).
You're right about the fact that it's almost as asinine for a rich lawyer to do this, but not quite as asinine because rich people can afford these kinds of things (and frankly, because rich couples are always on more solid ground than poor couples).
You're right about how pathetic it is for a woman to fixate more on sample-sized Vera Wang dresses, $50,000 reception venues, platinum foiled hair, and spray-on tans than on her husband-to-be.
You're right that that group of girls sitting behind you is stupid for gasping at a Tiffany's box and maybe even stupider for gasping again when they see that there's a five-caret emerald cut diamond inside.
You're right that everything written up until to this point is worded in kind of a classist and awful way and you're right to feel a little weird for agreeing with most of what's being said despite this.
Even better, you're right about things you didn't even know you were right about. You're right that a beautiful woman will never be able to make it work with a guy who's less attractive and more boring than her. You're right that every female friendship is really just a homicidal competition dressed up in pretty sweater sets and expensive running shoes. And you're right that the worst thing a woman can be is fat.
So sit back, dear reader. Pat yourself on the back. And enjoy that extra-large tub of popcorn with an added dollop of smugness, content in the fact that you are about to see the most satisfying movie that's ever been made about you and why you are always right.
Posted By: Kristen Meinzer
Photo Credit: Getty Images
Website: www.gettyimages.com
wickedorchid says:
I don't get why anyone would want to see this based on the trailers. It's like some bad sexist comedy from the 60s.
But I hated the SITC movie too so maybe I just don't get it....