All Advice Posts

Unqualified with J. Harvey: Straight Geisha?

jh2.jpgHiya guys! Welcome to hopefully a whole new era in American politics! Hopefully, everyone got out and voted (for whomever, who am I to judge...ok, I always judge...) and had a righteous Election Night. Now let's try and take care of that pesky Prop. 8 thing for my gays in Cali (and hell - the gays in Arizona and Florida who got bitchslapped in the face when even they dared to request their civil rights) and all will be well with the world. The sanctity of my patience is being tested with all this bigotry.

Speaking of gays, this chick might be sleeping with one. What do you think? Keep a'readin'!



Unqualified with J. Harvey: West Hollywood Halloween Dilemma

jh2.jpgHello, witches, black cats and bitches - it's J. Harvey here with you on Halloween! Welcome to the new day and time for Unqualified and thanks for joining! Spooky!

I'm dressed as Nina Garcia from Project Runway and I'm ready to tell that the outfit you designed doesn't hang together well, and it's VERY shoddy tailoring. First off, I wish you all a Happy Halloween (it's pretty much gay Christmas) and hope that you all get your candy bags filled to the brim....with candy. Pervs. Halloween is the night for whorishness, drunken behavior, and waking up next to the guy who you thought looked completely taggable in the Three Musketeers gear but then you realized you had been wearing pumpkin ale goggles. ACK! (That's a semi-true story by the way. I'll leave it at that.)

I am ALSO proud to announce that star commentator and someone who should probably have HER OWN advice column - OC Trophy Wife - has written in and asked advice of me! I'm flabbergasted and humbled! And I shall do my best! Keep reading!



Unqualified with J. Harvey Is Moving!

jh2.jpgHallo, advice seekers and column readers! Unqualified with J. Harvey is moving to Fridays at 4 p.m. Just in time to get you through the last couple of hours of your Friday workday. It's like a bloggy treat just before your weekend begins! Nifty, huh?

Have you got a problem? Boyfriend inattentive? Cat won't go in the litterbox? 21st century ennui and angst got you down? Write me at harvey.advice@gmail.com.

I will listen. I will respond. I will search the depths of my black and shrunken heart to give you the advice you need to....probably ignore and ask someone more qualified. But at least it will give you a moment's amusement. Write now! And join us here on Fridays!



Unqualified with J. Harvey: Confoozled

jh2.jpgGood afternoon and good evening, advice groupies! J. Harvey here again. Have I ever stated what an honor it is to answer queries for advice from you wonderful readers? I would give each and every one of you a fulfilling and STD-free orgasm if I could! And if you're not into a slightly chunky, large-headed, very pale, bitchy Irish malcontent with a drinking problem stimulating your erogenous zones, than I would love to buy you all a beer or non-alcoholic drink of your choice sometime! Sometime being much later when whatever this is I'm doing finally starts to pay off. Good Christ, it could eons. Anyway, this week, a lovely lady would like to know how to approach a friend who she's begun to see in a new light. The light of I-wanna-tap-that-ass! Keep reading!




Unqualified with J. Harvey: Ravenous Beauty

jh2.jpgOh, it's so good to be back amongst all of you beautiful people! I was in the magical land of Disney for the past week, recharging my advice gland and wondering why so many Americans are using electronic convenience vehicles when they obviously don't need to. Seriously, the walk will do you good.

Anyway, a repeat caller, writer, whatever (remember the one where the security guard was molesting her boyfriend?) is concerned for a co-worker who thinks her beauty sets her apart from the rest of us. Poor dear. Keep reading...



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