We all know that Mr. Steven Patrick Morrissey is a bit of a pouf, and surely loves to take a shot or 2 in the face, tee-hee, but that must be with a whole galley of preparation and deep, ahem, breathing. Check the sure way he holds the tongue shaped Legend statue the Latin MTV Tres Los Premios award presented to Mexican band, Cafe Tacuba.

He holds the base, grips the tip, just ready to aim, point and shoot.  

I so admire a man with technique.

With that said, I am definitely sure that when Morrissey walked on stage at the Echo Arena in Liverpool, soon after making his recovery from his collapse, he expected a show where he does his part as the artist, and leaves a little bit of his soul there on the stage, and we the audience enjoy the music, and passion that makes us come together... Not a bottle of water to the head from some "fan" in the audience.  

And did I mention this show was in Liverpool?? What a way to welcome the Moz, douchey guy who probably spent a butt-load of money on his ticket. Couldn't you have stayed home, and like, pulled the wings off of a butterfly? Or better yet, plucked every hair from your empty head and ate it, then had to drink a bottle of liquid dran-o to unclog your bowels or something? Yeah, thats what I would need from you to make up for making Morrissey walk off stage after 2 songs. Just a little Liquid dran-o.


Gallery Info:Los Premios MTV 2009 - 10/15/09


More on Morrissey:

Music in the Morning: Morrissey - 'All You Need is Me'
Two Of My Favorite Old Queens Tussle

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And the award for most deserving of a SOCIALITE LIFE Bitch Slap in 2008 goes to...drumroll please...Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt! What a surprise! They don't even have speeches prepared!

To explain why these two reality television fixtures were selected for our prestigious honor, both editors Lisa Timmons and J. Harvey give their two cents:

Lisa says: Everything about these two is so incredibly fake and plastic: from Heidi's giant, blindingly-white veneers, to Spencer's demonic smile and ultimately their faux relationship that culminated at the end of this year with a "surprise" wedding for which they were obviously paid handsomely.

They're the human artificial sweetener--leaving a weird after-taste in your mouth and quite possibly rotting your insides with cancer after prolonged exposure.

J. says: It wouldn't surprise either of us if these two "married" cretins were responsible for the collapse of our economy this year, the gradual melting of the polar ice caps, I Love Money 2 on VH-1, and the DC Sniper attacks in 2002.

Heidi's mother recently opined that Spencer had to have drugged her daughter to get her down to Mexico for their fake wedding. The only drug involved in their whole scenario is money. Getting paid for very little. And they're both big ole' junkies.

They are all that is evil in the world, and sick and wrong about our culture. To have to continually watch two money-grubbing rubber-faced whores continue to get paid for being two money-grubbing rubber-faced whores has driven many of us in the gossip profession into therapy. Our secret, dreamy wish in our heart of hearts is that they pose for photos one day in 2009 and no one cares.

That even a homeless meth-head looks at them posing desperately on Arbor Day in front of some trees, pees on the grass in front of them, and walks away not realizing who they are...

Click any photo to view all 45+ photos of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt in the gallery!

Sienna Miller isn't known for her chastity. Fine, no problem. Chastity is overrated. But the fact remains that the British actress goes through men like some people go through popcorn at the movies.

Jude Law, Rhys Ifans (they were engaged), Matthew Rhys....wait, isn't that the guy on ABC's Brothers and Sisters? Co-starring with Balthazar Getty?

Yep, that's how Sienna met the married father of four. After giving Rhys the heave-ho, all hell broke loose when Sienna's bare breasts and Balthy were photographed acting awfully chummy on a boat in Italy. In fact, she didn't really wear a shirt the entire vacation. Seriously. And all whit while his wife Rosetta, who had JUST given birth, was at home in LA probably wondering where her husband was.

Miller's friends even tried to sorta stick up for her whorish self, but it didn't go over well. Sienna dragged Balthazar all around the globe on her slutjurn and then had the temerity to accompany him back to LA. You know, where his wife and family live.

That's when Sienna realized that the U.S. media is just as judgy and vengeful as in Britain. It all culminated with "Sluttiena" being cornered crying at gas stations and actually walking into closed elevator doors to avoid the press hounding her as to why she was so blatantly into breaking up a marriage.

Finally, Sienna fled back to Merrie Olde England to sleep with a rugby team or something. And the word was that Getty was going back to his wife Rosetta, until recent pics showed that the two of them are still hanging out.

Basically, these two are a perfect example of how NOT to handle a celebrity extramarital affair.

Click any photo to view all 25+ photos of Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty in the gallery!

I used to think that the family that tans together, stays together. But the Mystic Tan adhering the various members of the Hogan family to one another has dissolved.Things went sour when the gang got a reality show, a weekly VH1 staged peek into the lives of Hulk Hogan, his wife Linda and children Brooke and Nick.

This year, we watched Nick and his family try to whine their way out of him spending time behind bars for last year's reckless driving and then treat him like a martyr when he basically did what was legally mandated.

The marriage between Hulk and Linda took a turn for the worse when she served him divorce papers in late 2007. Classy lady that she is, she let him find out when he got a call from the media.

Then this year, Hulk started dating a Linda/Brooke lookalike and engaged in some uncomfortable fatherly love. Linda raised the ante by dating her son's friend, who is a good thirty years younger than her.

As if this weren't enough for the American public to bear, Brooke got her own reality show in which she demonstrated how little she actually does know, much less knows "best."

During a watershed election year, bottle-blond Brooke made it clear she considered auditioning roommates for her pathetically-scripted "reality" show more important than voting.

It's probably for the best. She would have found a way to injure herself and others in that voting booth, somehow.

Click any photo to view all 15+ photos of the Hogan family in the gallery!

When it comes to ungrateful, whiny actresses...well, if Jessica Alba is out of the country, you'd have to go with Katherine Heigl. Why?

Heigl, who managed to jump from daughter-in-danger roles in Steve Seagal movies and starring in Bride of Chucky to a role  on the old WB network's teen alien series Roswell, got the break of her young life by landing the role of "Izzie" on ABC's smash hit medical drama Grey's Anatomy.

Suddenly, she was cast in the spotlight. A capable young actress (we give credit where credit is due), her heartbreaking storyline in Season 2 where she killed off her heartsick (literally) lover Denny just to get him a donor heart and then he died anyway cemented her in the public eye as one to watch. Heigl won herself an Emmy for the role. Then, she was cast in major motion pictures, like 27 Dresses and Knocked Up--which was a huge box office hit and made her a certifiable movie star.

And that's when Katherine (aka Suzie Smokestack) became a legend in her own mind.

It started off when she bad-mouthed Knocked Up in an interview as sexist, despite it being the vehicle which she rode to success. Writer/director Judd Apatow and her co-star Seth Rogen obviously realized what a diva she had become but managed not to slam her back too badly.

She really started getting too big for her Prada britches, when she publicly claimed she withdrew herself from this year's Emmy consideration, laying the blame on the Grey's Anatomy writers. Yes, the same writers provided her the dialogue to nab last year's Emmy in the first place!

To sum up, this chick is all class. Oh yeah, and we suspect she beats her husband, Josh Kelley.

Click any photo to view all 15+ photos of Katherine Heigl in the gallery!

Considering the year Amy Winehouse had in 2007, it's hard to believe that she would be able to top herself in ridiculous behavior. However, the substance-abuse-problem-plagued singer simply continued her downward spiral through all of this year, punctuated with some particularly low points.

She first kicked off the year with a video of her smoking crack going public and well, it's just been getting progressively worse. Her health has been shaky with the 25-year-old a mere puff away from developing emphysema, not to mention the weirdness going on with her skin.

Multiple trips in and out of rehab and the hospital seem to have done little to curb Amy's appetite for misbehaving. Her husband Blake Fielder-Civil served his time behind bars, got out just long enough to announce that he and Amy were splitting (amidst rumors that he was seeing German model Sophie Schandorff on the side), before heading back into the clink.

Then there was the relationship Amy developed with fellow druggie musician Pete Doherty. Thank God, that appeared to be short-lived. But no relationship of Amy's has been more volatile than the one she has with her fans.

Multiple attacks on well-meaning albeit ill-advised passersby and/or fans at her shows have resulted in numerous arrests for Amy, and she might even be facing some time behind bars in the near future.

And sadly enough, that might be the best thing for her at the moment.

We all felt terrible for Kanye West when he unexpectedly lost his mother Donda West in a tragic turn of events, but every time we felt ourselves feeling sympathetic for the guy, he'd do something obnoxious like give himself the title of Voice of a Generation.

Kanye's diva ways have included urinating on the Ting-Tings (in a matter of speaking), actually stooping to the level of gracing obviously whacked-out Amy Winehouse with a response to her crazy rants, inexcusable tardiness and expressed some strange sentiments about his late mother's rack.
 
Even though he's receiving this award, we have to give him props for all the times that he's really made us want to like him. It's just such a shame it's always 2 steps forward, 5 steps back with this one.

Click any photo to view all 20 photos of Kanye West in the gallery!

Truth be told, Jennifer Aniston ALMOST gets a pass here. She DID get royally screwed back in the day when Angelina Jolie used her big sensual eyes to take her man. But can you really steal someone's husband, Denise Richards once asked? Well, yeah.

Jennifer proceeded to date a string of losers. Vince Vaughn, her co-star in The Break-Up was allowed to crack stupid jokes and slap his paunch and jowls on her for a little while. Aniston managed to squeeze in British model Paul Sculfor in there somewhere too, but he left with stoned pigeon Cameron Diaz.

Then she fell in love with John Mayer, a man who craved publicity so much so that he once made out with Perez Hilton. This relationship suddenly shot Mayer into a much-desired level of stardom.

Paparazzi chased him! He was granted an invite to the Cox-Arquette residence! Suddenly people in addition to bland thirtysomethings in Starbucks with no musical taste actually cared about him. His image as a sensitive singer/songwriter was blown when his fame-whoring made even Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag blush.

Unsurprisingly, they split and even more unsurprisingly, he was the first one to announce their break-up with a virtual press conference. Jennifer wins points for being over his shit, but she lost them again when she took him back when he inevitably came sniffing around again.

Mayer noticed he'd fallen off the paparazzi's radar. He heard crickets when he once had hear the sounds of camera flashes. Lucky for him, Aniston heard an echo in her womb. So, they got back together.

Allegedly, they're happy but this award of ours suggests otherwise.

Click any photo to view all 15+ photos of John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston in the gallery!

Honestly, it's felt like Lindsay Lohan has made a tremendous amount of progress in getting her life together since last year when we also deemed her worthy of a BS Award. However, despite any improvements she made this year, Lindsay still managed to make a veritable mess of 2008.

Lindsay kicked off the year by breaking her sobriety on New Year's Day with a swig of champagne. She continued this auspicious start of a new year by winning Razzies for her tragic turn as a stripper in I Know Who Killed Me.

Career-wise, she seemed to make some progress by starring in a multi-episode guest stint on Ugly Betty but of course, that experience was marred by her abrupt departure from the show after rumors of discord between herself and star America Ferrera.

As for her personal life, Lindsay found her first stable relationship with DJ Samantha Ronson, but was very hesitant to confirm their status as a couple. It's hard to tell if Lindsay's trying to keep her private affairs private, or if the rumors that La Lohan is still secretly boy-crazy are true. The two of them are frequently seen getting in public, emotional spats with one another, hinting at a passionate albeit immature relationship.

Add to that, the fact that Lindsay's still paying for legal problems caused by her reckless behavior from 2007 and the recently documented proof that she's drinking again and what do you get?

That's right. A bitchslap.

Click any photo to view all 60 photos of Lindsay Lohan in the gallery!

What's there to say about Kate Hudson? Girlfriend has had everyone. Every Manny, Moe, and hack. 2008 has been an exhausting year of dating for the hippie chick who has yet to find a romantic comedy she hasn't agree to star in, or a bad relationship she didn't think would be fun to take out for a spin.

After Kate's divorce from her from weedy rocker ex-husband Chris Robinson, she set her sights on emotionally unstable Owen Wilson, whom she eventually drove to attempt suicide.

From there, she hooked up with bongo-playing surfer Matthew McConaughey. OK, maybe she and Matthew didn't actually date, but being forced to write about that insufferable duo promoting their mindless movie was as bad as if they'd actually been hooking up.

Then Kate took a spin with a sad comedians no one knows (A/K/A Dax Shepard) to spandex-addicted swinging dick Tour De France winner Lance Armstrong. After they split, Kate appeared to be hooking up with her ex-hubby, was publicly very affectionate (at the risk of getting strangled to death by Madonna) with Alex Rodriguez and may or may not have been seen getting cozy with Jason Statham.

Keeping up with her love life has been exhausting. We're slapping her with this award for wearing us out.