Posted by E.K. Jones

Los Angeles:

Tony Bennett will be signing copies of his critically acclaimed album, "Duets: An American Classic" at Borders on Saturday afternoon. What would be much cooler though would be if the people he did the duets with came instead. Elvis Costello or Bono, anyone? [Link]

Doug Jones, star of "Hellboy" and the much more regarded "Pan's Labyrinth", will be singing copies of "Hellboy" the animated DVD at Dark Delicacies in Burbank on Saturday afternoon as well. The venue seems a bit sketch, but whatever. Director Guillermo del Toro clearly thinks that Mr. Jones is worth everyone's time. [Link]

Tired of the typical LA standards of beauty? Too bad. Even the annual Bulldog Beauty contest doesn't look forgiving - especially since "human" beauty queens are the ones doing all the judging. It's rain or shine, but do stay home if the heavens break and you can't stand the smell of wet fur. I know I would. [Link]

The New York City and Chicago weekend events are after the jump.

Los Angeles:

We've definitely recommended Jake Shimabakuro before, but I'm not sure if people took our advice to check out this Japanese ukulele player seriously enough the first time around. (Big surprise, I know.) Bypass his performance at Glendora High School, though. That might be pretty lame. [Link]

The premiere of Disney's "Bridge to Teribithia" is Saturday morning at the El Capitan Theatre in LA. You'll definitely have to wake up early for this one, but seeing as the average attendee probably still wakes up early to watch his cartoons, this 10:00AM screening time should be no problem at all. [Link]

And speaking of high school dances, those acid wash jeans might actually come in handy for the first time in years. You see, the "1986 Ultimate Jr. High Winter Dance Re-enactment and Ricky Schroeder Appreciation Night" is on Saturday at Art Share LA. Sure to be an unforgettable evening, complete with free spiked punch, bad memories, and more. [Link]

The Chicago and New York City events are after the jump.

New York:

Felicity Huffman will be signing copies of her new book, "A Practical Handbook for the Boyfriend", tonight at Barnes and Noble Fifth Avenue. It's sort of the Desperate Housewives' version of Kim Catrall's orgasm book, but only better. (I'm thinking her marriage will probably outlast the tour.) [Link]

Claire Danes is starring in a new dance piece, "Edith and Jenny", at Performance Space from now until February 4th. Evidently she's friends with the choreographer or something, but that's a moot point for the rest of us: Only $20 to see Claire Danes dance? [Link]

You seriously haven't seen "Evil Dead"? Come on, people. Put that whatever you're doing away and go see Bruce Campbell shine in this double feature - two-thirds of the trilogy! -- Sunday at the 92nd Street Y. [Link]

The Los Angeles and Chicago weekend events are after the jump.

Chicago:

It's definitely a big weekend for the biking crowd: first, registration opens for the annual Bike the Drive and then it's also the annual Winter Bike to Work Day. Hot beverages will be served for all participants in Daley Plaza, so don't be too discouraged by the chill. [Link]

Tickets are still available for Cedric the Entertainer's Saturday performance at the Chicago Theatre. His live comedy skits are really funny, so anyone who saw him in Charlotte's Web should feel free to forget certain aspects of that performance: he's really a hilarious guy. [Link]

Body World was a big success in New York City and now it's at The Museum of Science of Industry, so stop by and see some 200 human bodies in various states of decay, disease, and decomposition. It's sort of like Madame Toussaud's, only better -- beecause there's no J.Lo. And it's real. [Link]

The New York City and Los Angeles weekend events are after the jump.

Los Angeles:

Just in case you weren't sure what to do with the time left between now and the High School Musical Tour's Jan. 26th arrival in L.A., the Cheetah Girls (Disney Channel's other fake singing group) have come to save the day. Tonight, at the Honda Center. [Link]

James Denton, a.k.a. Mike on "Desperate Housewives", will be signing copies of his book, "Prenatal Fitness Fix" on Saturday in Torrance, CA. (You heard me.) Don't get too comfortable, though. Denton's wife and co-author, Erin O'Brien, will be there to sign the books, too. [Link]

The New York City and Chicago weekend events are after the jump.

New York:

The Mooney Suzuki, the brains behind the music from "School of Rock" will be performing tonight at Maxwell's in Hoboken. Come on, you didn't really think that Ned Schneebly wrote all those songs, did you? [Link]

Tickets are available still online for two screenings of "Annie Hall" at the Film Forum this weekend. Even if you think you've seen it before, you better go again. With a brand new 35mm print, you won't know what you've been missing. [Link]

The Chicago and Los Angeles events are after the jump.
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Chicago:

Meet the cast of The Real World: Denver (are any worth meeting?) at the red carpet party Crobar's holding in their honor. Fox Reality Channel will be broadcasting the event live, so don't forget to set your TiVo before you go. [Link]

Rachael Ray's in town this weekend and in between visits with Oprah, she will be signing copies of her latest cookbook for all us humble folk. Not interested in learning how to cook for a crowd? I'm sure she'll be happy to sign one of her other 500 books too. [Link]

Not for the weak of heart, Arabesque is hosting a female-only (sorry guys) "Santa Baby" strip class Sunday, from 2:00-4:00. Reservations required, so call ahead. Don't forget to BYOB (B stands for Boa) a bring that well-seasoned stripper stool of yours along, too. [Link]

The New York City and Los Angeles events are after the jump.

Los Angeles:

New York's lent Rachael Ray to LA for the weekend to promote her latest book, "2, 4, 6, 8: Great meals for Couples or Crowds". She's hosting three separate signings while she's here, so take your pick. Or, be a stalker and attend all three. [Link]

David Lynch and Laura Dern will host a special screening of Lynch's new film "Inland Empire" at the LACMA on Saturday night. A Q&A session will follow the film, but speak only if you've got something interesting to say. [Link]

If you haven't already called in and won tickets for this one, you should never leave your radio's side. KROQ's Almost Acoustic Christmas Concert, featuring The Killers, Beck, Foo Fighters, The Raconteurs, Gnarls Barkley, etc. is Sunday and Monday at The Gibson Ampitheatre. [Link]

The New York City and Chicago weekend events are after the jump.

New York:

John Leguizamo will be reading from his memoir, "Pimps, Hos, Playa Hatas and All the Rest of My Hollywood Friends", on Friday night at Barnes and Noble Lincoln Center. The only catch is that the book isn't really a memoir at all. It's just John capitalizing on the fame of his friends. [Link]

Sit in on an interview with Michael Cunningham, author of "The Hours" (which you should please, please read), at the Independent and Small Press Book Fair on Saturday afternoon. Admission's free, $1 donation suggested. But it'd be nice to offer them a bit more if you could - they're not all famous yet. [Link]

"Mimi Le Duck", starring Eartha Kitt, is nearing the end of its Off-Broadway reign and I'll take any chance to plug a strange title I can. Plus, I think they could use a bit more of an audience. (It's their last week of production and the buzz hasn't been so good.) [Link]

The Chicago and Los Angeles weekend events are after the jump.