Determined to make the transition to pop star from reality television fixture, Heidi Montag has once again released yet another single in an attempt to do so. From the same woman who brought you such classics as "Overdosin'" and "Higher" comes "Superficial."

Yes, she's really branching out on this one, employing her favorite method of whisper-singing while she spouts "expensive" buzzwords. She laments in a breathy voice, "They say I'm superficial/They really don't know me." You know who does know her? Her soulless-mate, Spencer Pratt.

After listening to this charming little ditty, I feel as if I'm owed an apology.



Gallery Info: Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt at the MTV Studios in New York for an appearance on It's On With Alexa Chung.

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Fame is an addictive thing for Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt. Not content with being on The Hills, the married duo is looking to land their own reality show.

The couple told the Associated Press that they've been hawking the notion to several networks.

Currently, the pair is making the media rounds to promote a new book they've penned titled, How To Be Famous: Our Guide To Looking The Part, Playing the Press, and Becoming a Tabloid Fixture.

The Pratts feel that The Hills doesn't show enough of their complex existence. "You don't get to see our everyday lives and what we do," Heidi Pratt told AP.

Oh my god. Who would want to actually witness their daily lives?

Gallery Info: Heidi Montag and her husband Spencer Pratt at the Borders Books & Music store in New York City, New York on November 16, 2009 for their new book launch.

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After being decimated in an interview this past June by weatherman, Al Roker, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt were hoping to face off with the Today show correspondent in an appearance on the morning talk show this morning.

However, a Today show rep reveals to Us Weekly, "Due to a change in the show's schedule, we had to cancel the interview with Spencer and Heidi Pratt." As a result, the twosome will not have an opportunity to promote their new book, How To Be Famous: Our Guide to Looking the Part, Playing the Press, and Becoming a Tabloid Fixture. As if people who actually like them can read.

Ha! Lesson number one, don't piss off Al Roker! Interview denied!

Gallery Info: Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt ham it up for the cameras.

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America is on the mend.  Companies are slowly crawling out of financial ruin, people are starting to stand up on their own two feet, and yet Hollywood expects us to take the money we've earned back and stick it in a shredder.  If you thought sniffing glue was a bad idea, then prepare yourselves.  Spencer and Heidi Pratt are releasing their very first book, How To Be Famous.  Why?  Because you want to be just like them, that's why.  You want people to hate you.  You want to say stupid things and fall victim to delusion.  You want your every action ridiculed and you want to be ignored for simply being you.

Making the publicity rounds to squeeze every last dollar out their "book", Speidi sat down with Playboy for a meeting of the minds.

"As self-proclaimed experts on the subject, 'Speidi' dishes out advice on 'looking the part, playing the press and becoming a tabloid fixture.' The platinum pair offers up such nuggets of wisdom as 'remember that every little fight with the person you're dating should become a headline' and 'having a conscience is for losers.' Social strategies and roles are named after the celebrities who inspired them: Moving through increasingly famous dating partners for the purpose of upping your Hollywood stature is dubbed 'The Jennifer Garner Approach,' and boring, sweet girls who get dumped for exciting bad girls are 'Jennifer Anistons.' (Heidi strongly advises against being a Jennifer Aniston because 'bitches get the guy.') All of this may sound ludicrous, and, it is. Be that as it may, Speidi is laughing all the way to the bank."

Choice selection from the interview:

PLAYBOY: Overall the book has a light-hearted tone and you guys seem to be poking fun at yourselves. Did you have some laughs at your own expense when you were writing it?
SPEIDI: One of the points we make in the book is that you have to take your job of being famous seriously, but you can't take yourself seriously. People who can't laugh at themselves make for lousy people and even worse celebrities.

Please don't buy this book. Spend the money on something more sensible, like a wheel of cheese or batteries.
 
Gallery Info:  Spencer and Heidi Pratt frolic on the beach in Los Angeles to promote their book, How To Be Famous.

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Most likely feeling jealous from all the attention fellow dysfunctional reality television couple, and Jon and Kate Gosselin, have been receiving during the course of the divorce, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt had a little field trip with photographers.

The terrible twosome dressed up as the infamous Jon & Kate Plus 8, with Heidi donning one of those Kate Gosselin wigs everybody's talking about.

Awww, you know Heidi just wanted to dress up so that she could pretend she's going to bear children with her resistant better half. The truth hurts, huh, Heidi?

Gallery Info: Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt pose as Jon and Kate Gosselin for Halloween.

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While the MTV reality series, The Hills, remains the highest-rated cable show in the channel's target audience as well as the number one rated program in its time slot in that demo, its ratings are clearly slipping from last year's numbers.

It seems the addition of feisty castmate, Kristin Cavallari, wasn't enough for this season's premiere to maintain the kind of numbers brought in by last year's premiere. It's being reported that viewership was down by 30 percent compared to the prior season.

Wonder who Audrina Patridge can blame for robbing her of viewers?

Gallery Info: Audrina Patridge and Heidi Montag talk to one another at a restaurant on the set of The Hills.

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Heidi Montag apparently only puts out when she gets paid. There is a reason why Heidi Montag didn't attend her sister Holly Montag's birthday party, she wasn't paid for her appearance.

"Holly was really wishing that her sister could just be a sister and stop by her birthday party, but Heidi only goes places if she is getting paid," an insider snitched to Tarts. "I mean, this is her sister and she wouldn't even show up without a fee. That's disgusting."

Yes, that is disgusting.

Gallery Info: Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt have lunch with friends

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Star of The Hills, Kristin Cavallari, is doing her best to continue stirring up the controversy. The reality TV starlet recently told MTV News that on this season of the series, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are so wrapped up in their relationship, they're not really interacting much with the other cast members.

Cavallari confesses, "They're in their own little married world, and we don't get to see a whole lot of them, which is unfortunate, because I love them." When once Kristin lamented ever introducing the nauseating duo to one another, she now believes she made the right decision to set them up.

"I think when I saw them at the wedding, they seemed really happy and really in love, so I'm happy for them. I feel like Cupid a little," Krisin enthuses. This woman's aptitude for infuriating her castmates is truly astounding. I tip my hat to her.

Gallery Info: Kristin Cavallari and Lauren Bosworth film scenes for The Hills in Beverly Hills, California.

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Tip for Heidi. You many not want to eat your offspring. I'm just saying.

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt introduce their new puppies Dolly (the white puppy) and Ninja to the world. They took their tiny pups out for a spontaneous (tee hee) walk in the Hollywood Hills, although the lucky new arrivals were carried for most of the way.

Heidi admitted that having the dogs had made her think twice about having children just yet as they were quite a handful! Don't do it Heidi. It's for the best.

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Not content with the baby of a hubby she already has in Spencer Pratt, Heidi Montag confessed during her co-host stint on The View, that she is dying to have kids.

The reality TV starlet admits, "I wanna have children sooner than later. My husband doesn't at all, ever. He wants to have surgery to make sure we don't."

As a result, the couple's sex life is pretty uneventful at the moment because Spencer doesn't trust Heidi to stay on birth control because of her desire to have "four or five" kids.

For once, I'm going to have to agree with Spencer. I appreciate him being socially responsible and abstaining from procreating.

Gallery Info: Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt arrive in Los Angeles after their trip in New York.

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