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Lionel Richie won a TV Land Icon award over the weekend. I have no idea what that means in this case. For his videos? TV Land is weird. Anyway, he says one of his greatest triumphs was adopting and getting through raising Nicole Richie. Because you know she was a straight-up pain in the nuts.

"Forget about surviving 40 years in the music business. Just surviving 27 years of Nicole Richie has been a struggle-and-a-half, I want to tell you," Lionel kidded. "I stand here as a survivor, I want you to know, for all the parents out there.''

Nicole had a problem with heroin, got arrested for DUI, served a short jail sentence, and then gave herself an image makeover by squirting out a kid. Oh, and the worst part for Lionel - she hung out with Paris Hilton and even did a show with her. Ugh. Lionel must have looked into seeing if he could return her to his drummer that gave her up.

Lionel says it's a whole new household at Nicole's place, with baby Harlow and babydaddy Joel Madden.

"She went from, 'Dad, I don't care. Whatever you say.' to 'Wash your hands, dad.' and 'Be quiet, dad,' " he says. "It's a whole new sound of the house."

Don't let that skeeze boss you around. She is not the Angel of Calcutta just because she got knocked up and kept it. Remind her that it was you who bailed her out all that time. You're 58 and you've been through the wars and back. Just show her that badass video for "Dancing On The Ceiling." She'll know her place then.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin Online