The Wrestler (Rated R)
Darren Aronofsky

The Wrestler makes audiences feel awful about Mickey Rourke...and themselves

Nine out of ten critics aggregated by the Tomato-Meter agree: Mickey Rourke turns in a performance in The Wrestler that is altogether captivating - not only for the physicality and vulnerability that he brings to the role - but also for the parallels that can be drawn between his life and that of his character.

Like Randy "The Ram" Robinson, Rourke was a huge star in the 1980s (admit it: you loved him in 9 ½ Weeks). Like his character, he became more or less a has-been over the following two decades (roles included "Husband" in 2001's The Follow). And like his character, he is coming back twenty years after his peak - damaged, disfigured, determined, and more than a little sad.   

While all this is true, I'd venture to say that there's more to the universal praise being bestowed upon Darren Aronofsky's new film than its ability to make audiences feel bad (and good, and bad) about Mickey Rourke. The film also succeeds in making audiences feel bad about themselves.

Click the continue reading link for the rest of the review.

Posted By: Kristen Meinzer
 

Peru's top court has ruled it is unlawful to fire a worker for being drunk on the job.

The Constitutional Tribunal ordered Pablo Cayo to be reinstated as a janitor for the municipality of Chorrillos. The ruling deemed, although he was drunk on the job, the firing was excessive because he didn't hurt or offend anybody.  

I love the basis for the decision. What harm could the janitor really cause other than not putting up the slippery when wet sign? This decision has opened Pandora's box in the workplace and issued get out of jail free cards to all employees. If I were Joe Francis, I'd be on the next plane to Lima to film Peruvian Janitors Gone Wild!

The ruling immediately was met with backlash from the government but the court has refused to reverse or revise its decision. Apparently, sobriety is for the unemployed.

Posted By: Kendall Hartenstine

Inkheart (D+)
Director: Iain Softley

Playing in the official Harry Potter fingers-crossed family film franchise sweepstakes, Inkheart comes armed with fantastical visual heights, a strong literary theme, and the inexplicable box office appeal of Brendan Fraser. What Inkheart lacks is a cracking pace and a reasonable deconstruction of an intricate plot for the uninitiated, leaving a feature film of determined scope plagued by dismal execution.

Long ago, Mo (Brendan Fraser) discovered he was a Silvertongue, a rare human blessed with the skill to bring literary figures into the world by merely reading books aloud. When an unfortunate occurrence takes his wife (Sienna Guillory) away, Mo and his daughter Meggie (Eliza Bennett) travel around the world on the hunt for the out-of-print book Inkheart to restore order to their lives. On their trail is Dustfinger (Paul Bettany), a fire-juggler from Inkheart who was pulled from the story into the real world long ago and desperately wants back in, taking his worry to villain Capricorn (Andy Serkis, chewing scenery) to guarantee him safe passage. With Capricorn abusing the gifts of the Silvertongues to line his pockets and achieve world domination, it's up to Mo, Meggie, and feisty Aunt Elinor (Helen Mirren) to find the book's author (Jim Broadbent) and fight to save the day.

Click the continue reading link to read the rest of the review.

Posted By: Brian Orndorf

Bride Wars (Rated PG)
Gary Winick

Bride Wars: Quite possibly, the greatest movie smart people will ever see

For those of you who operate under the assumption that the wedding industry is a shallow, classist institution feeding on women's insecurities and perpetuating unrealistic notions about manufactured romance, sit back. Your ultimate fantasy film experience has arrived.

Bride Wars, starring Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway, is now in theaters, and it wants you to know that you are and always will be right.

You're right about the fact that it's ludicrous for a public school teacher to save up pennies for an entire decade in order to finance a ridiculously showy wedding that's clearly beyond her means (especially when it's obvious that she and her betrothed aren't even on solid ground).

You're right about the fact that it's almost as asinine for a rich lawyer to do this, but not quite as asinine because rich people can afford these kinds of things (and frankly, because rich couples are always on more solid ground than poor couples).

You're right about how pathetic it is for a woman to fixate more on sample-sized Vera Wang dresses, $50,000 reception venues, platinum foiled hair, and spray-on tans than on her husband-to-be.

You're right that that group of girls sitting behind you is stupid for gasping at a Tiffany's box and maybe even stupider for gasping again when they see that there's a five-caret emerald cut diamond inside.

Click the continue reading link for the rest of the review.

Posted By: Kristen Meinzer

In Australia, a home invader wearing a leather mask broke into a family's home and bludgeoned the mother with his weapon of choice - a rubber dildo wrapped in duct tape. Yes, you read that correctly.

The attack occurred after a woman came to the front door of the family's home at 3am. She distracted the mother and son allowing Shaun Michael Burke, the alleged home invader, to break in. Once Burke was in the house he proceeded to chase and attack the family with his dildo. This calls for a Flavor Flav, "Wow."

Posted By: Kendall Hartenstine

Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (R)

Director: Patrick Tatopoulos

In the shadow of the phenomenon known as Twilight, the vampire genre may seem to be a bit exhausted. But for the diehards of the vampire mythology, the release of Underworld: Rise of the Lycans may be just what you want. You won't find these vampires and werewolves roaming the halls of your local high school, though that would have made my high school experience a lot more exciting. Rather, in the Rise of the Lycans, you'll find the foundation of the centuries-old battle between the vampires and Lycans explained. If you are a fan of Underworld and Underworld: Evolution, then you pretty much know the story behind the feud. Still, the movie should be entertaining and full of action and gore. Familiar faces will include Bill Nighy as Viktor and Michael Sheen as Lucian to lead their respective sides of the battle. However, you won't see Kate Beckinsale in this one but you'll find actress Rhona Mitra filling the shoes that Kate left behind. Will Rhona do this successfully? We will have to see. The absence of Kate in the film is a bit disappointing but I am looking forward to the movie nonetheless. I will be shelling out the dough to see this film. Just call me a sucker for any vampire and werewolves story...no pun intended.

Click the continue reading link below for previews of Outlander, Killshot and Inkheart.

Posted By: Amanda Jacob

MySpace is all over the Sundance scene this year, with multiple people writing blog posts and hanging out in their MySpace cafe.  Emmy Rossum, American Idol loser David Archuleta both took to their MySpace blogs to talk about the cafe. Stars at Sundace all stopped by at some point including Ben Affleck, Paris Hilton, Michelle Trachenberg and Kristen Stewart.  Rossum waited tables and blogged about how tough the waitressing was.  Yes, we all empathize with the little star who got invited to Sundance and waited tables for publicity.

Kim Kardashian is taking her Razzie nom for worst supporting actress in good stride, taking to her blog to poke fun at it and talk about her fellow nominees.  Kim expressed surprise that Jenny McCarthy had been nominated as well and noted that Paris Hilton could sweep the whole thing with her two nods in other categories.    She noted that she had a good time filming Disaster Movie, for which she is nominated and that the nomination itself is an honor.  At least she has a sense of humor about herself, Paris will probably go on some stupid Oscar campaign soon, forcing herself into real movies.

City gal Whitney Port wants you to know what she is wearing.  For every episode of The City, she posts a recap of what she is wearing on her blog.  No links to stores since we saw her shopping in some of the most expensive department stores in NYC, just names but she is providing a good service to all of the fashion impaired out there.  When in doubt with loads of cash, copy Whitney's style.

Posted By: Erin McClain

Click any photo to view all 10+ photos of Emmy Rossum in the gallery!

Harry Potter's main freeze, Hermoine Granger, just got back from Cuba. Emma Watson updates her website with the breaking news that those Cubans can really dance. Poor little Princess Pea has never felt so inadequate. Gotta love a girl who knows how to spell multisyllabic words. Watson is getting ready to take the SAT, hoping for warm welcome from American universities. Aside from learning to dance and being brilliant, Watson is taking test shots, fitting costumes, and frumping up her hair for the next installation of wizardry (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows). She throws fangirls a bone with mentions of DanRad and the Ginger one, but knows how to keep jealous harpies happy. She says she hasn't seen either in quite some time.

Speaking of harpies, Kim Zolciak has news. Park City, Utah plays host to her fright wig this week, and she makes mention of meeting poor David Archuleta and of "hanging out with new friend Michael Lohan and his fiancé Erin." The Atlanta Housewife name drops an interesting mix of people staying in the same hotel, then says she is gearing up for a big celebrity poker event. How much do you want to bet she'll only be watching from the cheap seats?

Michael Lohan's last blog confirms his attendance at Sundance, where he will be one of many hosts at the poker event Zolciak mentioned. Also on tap to attend? His "brother in Christ, Stephen Baldwin," along with "Joe Francis and a bunch of [his] Wall Street friends." That should be an interesting group at cocktail hour. A blowhard, a Baldwin, a bastard and some brokers. And after that? A mission trip to Cambodia. Like they don't have enough problems. Lohan gives his audience what they're really after with a tease of information about LiLo and Ali (who cares about the boys, right?) Maybe he'll spill, maybe he won't. You have to keep reading to find out. Well, we all have to stay relevant somehow.

Posted By: Elese Morris

This week in GOOP, Gwyneth Paltrow shares some of her favorites in New York City. Better title? NYC on a Grand a Day. It is always so good of Gwynnie to let us in on her fantasies of proletarian pride. She reminds us that she is both an Uptown and a Downtown girl, and credits that duality as defining her persona. The jury is still out as to whether or not Gwyneth understands what duality really means. She seems to think it has something to do with an ability to find and eat in restaurants on both ends of the city. She ends her weekly note with a threat to write more love letters to NYC, before running her blogfomercial on some of the city's most popular and expensive restaurants and hotels. Of course she is pimping out Mario Batali's Babbo hardcore. Daddy needs a new pair of crocks. Good luck getting a reservation!

Someone else who would need luck getting a reservation, Adrienne Curry, has found religion. The longtime atheist, whose vocal declarations made for fun with her ANTM Cycle 1 runner-up and uber-Christian, Shannon Stewart, has found a new god. And he is "a big badass mother fuckin lion." Adrienne has converted to the Church of Aslan, a religion of her own devising. That's right. Adrienne is worshiping the central character of a series of children's books. And even though she recognizes that Aslan is an allegory for Jesus, "Aslan is warm, cuddly, fuzzy, and a huge fucking lion," so that makes everything okay. Somewhere, C.S. Lewis is weeping.

This reminds me that Pussycat Doll, Kimberly Wyatt (a/k/a Not Nicole), has set herself the Sisyphean task of memorizing the Lord's Prayer as a New Year's Resolution. Good thing she has the whole year!

Checking in on an ANTM alum who has a career and at least two brain cells to rub together, Elyse Sewell updated her blog with photos and news of her latest catalog shoot. 55 outfits in 4 hours, she was speed-dressing for a buyer's guide to a fashion line's latest samples.

Posted By: Elese Morris