Posted by Wayne Ford

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Buzz it up, bitches! Expect the unexpected in this week's addition of Celebrity Buzz Meter. It's the countdown show that brings you the most buzzed about celebs from the past week and mixes it in with a little comedic craziness. In other words, we do it drunk...and sometimes angry. It's not just celebrities who are haunted by skeletons in their closets, Wayne's also got some dirty laundry that he wishes would just go away. Or wash itself. Or stop dialing 1-900 numbers. Oh yeah and it's also NSFW because Wayne felt like cussing and not beeping it. Cause he's hard like that.

OMG! LMAO! SAJLU! Stars are just like us! Except they have more money and can shop all the freak'in time. Here's some shots of your favorite celebs shopping it up in Malibu, Hollywood, and New York over the past few days.

WARNING: NOT SAFE FOR WORK

DRINKING GAME ALERT: Take a shot everytime R. Kelly sings, "Oh, shit."

Above is a little sneak preview of the upcoming shenanigans of R. Kelly's Trapped in a Closet laugh-a-thon that the soon-to-lose-all-indie-cred channel, IFC, has purchased. IFC has ordered a total of ten more episodes of Kelly's melodramatic hip-hopera series and the video is from the upcoming Chapter 13. From Rolling Stones:

Still trying to decide if R. Kelly's hip-hopera "Trapped in the Closet" is genius or ridiculous? (Face it: It's both.) We'll all get a chance to re-examine this fascinating labyrinth of sex, guns and deceit because IFC has acquired ten new installments of the series, which follows the comically raunchy, melodramatic life of a character called Sylvester, played by Kelly.

I can't wait for the sequel "Trapped in the Water Closet." It will be much more subtle, with a European feel to it, but still maintaining Kelly's love for all things liquid, if you catch my drift.

Every so often along comes a video that changes lives. This is one such video. Thank you John Roberts & Gina Vetro for inspiring me to move to New York and pursue my career in dance! I'm gonna be a STAR! F*** You A Socialite's Life! F*** You Lisa Timmons! If that's even your real name! You can bet all your dirty martini's and Parliament 100's that I won't be missing our 26 minute podcast meetings when I'm bringing down the Ambassador with my Mr. Cellophane. And I may or may not be talking about the song. Ha! Wait did I want to be a dancer or a singer? I'm so confused...I guess I'll just stay put.

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No offense Sarah but I miss hosting the show with your appendix. He may have been a bit of a diva but at least he didn't make fun of the fact I can't read. Oh well the show must go on- This week Sarah and Wayne ramble on and on and on about 'The Simpsons Movie.'

View this and more exclusive ASL videos in higher quality at SocialiteLife.TV

Free BUZZ inside! Free BUZZ inside! For the past seven days, the Celebrity Buzz Meter has been tracking the hottest celebrity successes and failures on the Internet, and has now packaged them all in a neatly-produced top-ten list to end all top-ten lists. In today's show, Wayne takes a look at what happens when a Dreamgirl falls from grace, (yup, we've got footage....SHHHH!!!) discusses J.K. Rowling's attempt at selling a new product she hopes will be more challenging than her addictive children's books, and Wayne fills us in on the details of his special one-man welcoming committee he's organized to welcome a certain hot British footballer.

OK, you may have seen this one already, but it has always been one of my fantasies to find myself walking down a crowded street and suddenly have everyone bust out into the same synchronized song-and-dance routine. Adding to that the fact that this takes place in a Filipino prison (a different sort of fantasy entirely) makes it almost too much for me too bear. Chicken Adobo anyone?

More pics from the red carpet arrivals of Comedy Central's Roast of Flava Flav! Seriously, what's happening to the 'Roast' brand? Who's next Scott Baio?

Lindsay, Tara and Serena Williams all headed out to Malibu. Alicia Silverstone and The Governator checked out David Beckham's first Galaxy soccer game. Meanwhile Britney did a little house shopping (looking for a larger nursery perhaps?). This weekend the stars were out and about enjoying the California sun and as always the Photogs captured it all. We've handpicked a few of the best photos taken this weekend for our first ever 'Celebrity Weekend Photo Mix.' And we kept it short at a minute and thirty seconds to help with your ADD.

Just like those online sites that can tell you the name of your perfect match, Celebrity Buzz Meter is disturbingly accurate each week. Tracking down the top 10 buzzed about celebrities on the internet. This week includes a Batman, a Fatman, and a couple BeckHams.

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