Posted by Wayne Ford

In the latest episode, SFF vs. Brangelina, the Superficial Friends are spied by Angelina and Brad Pitt on a child adopting safari. Mistaken for impoverished African children, the Super Skanks are forcefully adopted and cast to the Jolie family dungeon.

Baby Shiloah is so scary!

More Superficial Friends at Heavy.com

Hayden Panettiere getting flowers from photographers on her 18th birthday, Jessica Alba chillin in BC with friends, and Heidi & Spencer having a quiet lunch in Hollywood are just a few of the shots featured in this weeks "Celebrity Photo Mix." Also included are photos of Will Ferrell, Elle Macpherson, Christina Aguilera, Snoop Dogg, Nicollette Sheridan, Michael Bolton, John Mayer and more.

Photo Credit: FlynetPictures

Audio Credit: Artist: Plain White T's - Song: Please Don't Do This - Album: Stop

No, but she should be with all the publicity she's been getting them after throwing hers at a neighbor. I think they should start making Blackberrys that include a little flip-out shank. "Oooh, don't mess with that bitch, she's got her Blackberry." Just an idea.

I'm actually supposed to be telling you about how she's yelling out to strangers that she's engaged and pregnant but honestly I don't care. From the New York Post:

Pushing a shopping cart at E. 61st's Bed, Bath & Beyond, she said, "I'm getting married in September. I'm pregnant." . . .

Are we even sure that was her? Pushing a shopping cart? That was probably just some homeless drag queen with too much glossy pink lipstick on.

Further down the page, that sassy little Cindy Adams shoots this zinger at the male species:

FLASH: Last week. Major scientific biologic breakthrough in Los Angeles. Cedars Sinai Hospital. A baby born with a penis and a brain.

Why if I ever see her on the street she better hope I forgot my Blackberry at home. BBBBYYYYAAATTTTCCHHH!!!

Well Janice, we would rather you wear fur. Yeah I said it. It's not that I'm pro-fur, it's just that I'm anti-naked old lady. Spray tanning your cellulite does not make it go away.

In these photos Janice Dickinson and her models are seen in Hollywood on Monday, pounding the pavement for PETA. This was about the cause, people, not the publicity.

Janice Continues Her Protest By Straddling a Man After the Jump

This poor girl. You write a song about not going to Rehab, then you end up going to Rehab and all these snarky bloggers have to make their little "jokes." Well I say No, No, No! What kind of world do we live in where a girl can't admit to drinking bottles of wine alone and then hitting herself without getting made fun of. It's sick. Anyway, back to the story:

The troubled singer walked out of The Causeway clinic in Essex again on Sunday night.

Amy and Blake had promised family and friends they would spend a few weeks there as they battled their drug problems.

But after a string of screaming matches with each other -- ruining the harmony of the £10,000-a-week retreat -- they left. Together, they got a taxi to an exclusive hotel in central London where they spent the night.

Genius plan kids. "Oh, I'll only go to Rehab if my crazy drug enabling crack head boyfriend can go with me." This is pretty much the definition of setting yourself up for failure. "Shit the drugs are wearing-off, and it turns out we don't really love each other, we actually can't stand each other but we still both love drugs. Quick let's leave this place and do more drugs so we think we love each other again!"

I read Anthony Keidis's "Scar Tissue" so I think I'm a drug expert now.

This video directed by David LaChapelle for J-Lo's new single "Do It Well," sounds insane! Here's what I gathered from the NY Daily News:

For some reason, the kid is being held hostage in this kinky club. Enter J.Lo, kicking around bouncers the same way she wailed on that abusive husband in "Enough."

Searching for her boy, she discovers a grimy place that resembles a Petland store run by the Marquis de Sade. Opening one door, she sees a dominatrix, dressed up as a cat, whipping a man in a mouse mask and underpants. He's stretched out on a mousetrap. Behind another door is a giant hamster cage, where one woman trods an exercise wheel while another sucks water from a bell bottle.

I blame this all on her tiny bon-bon shaking husband, Marc Anthony. This whole video concept was probably his idea to fulfill some sick ass fantasy. Waiting for tonight, oh. When you will be here in my black latex covered arms.

More Photos of Jennifer and Marc After the jump

That's my new cute pet name for Pete Doherty who somehow avoided being convicted today after being arresting on suspicion of drug possession. From TMZ.com:

Doherty had been arrested around 2:30 AM Monday, after performing with his band Babyshambles at a festival. But, according to reports from the UK, Judge Susan Williams had to let him go, saying, "Anyone arrested for a breach of bail must be brought before the court and dealt with in a 24-hour period."

Lucky bloke. If Pete was in The States then at this point his handlers would rush him off to a cushy rehab facility to take long morning walks and eat peeled fresh grapes. Then he would re-emerge in three days completely healed of all ailments. It's magic!

Do you have similar issues as Petey? Try the Wonderland Center, "It should've worked for Lindsay, but it will work for you!"

It's a birthday celebration on this sneak peek of tonight's new episode of "Flipping Out." The whole gang goes out for a birthday dinner and they can't resist talking shop throughout the meal. Wonderfully crazy Jeff actually laughs when he is compared to an WWII Axis of Evil world leader. I think it's the prospect of "multiples" that has him so happy that he doesn't mind.

"Flipping Out" airs a new episode tonight on Bravo at 10/9c.

Yay! Ugly Betty is coming back for a new season of fashion faux-pas, intrigue and disastrous outfits/situations with our favorite dowdy fashionista, Betty Suarez, at the helm. Mode magazine would be lost without the girl with a sweater vest for every occasion and I for one am happy that she's finally getting back on the air with some new episodes. Check out the promo for a fun, whimsical look at the new season through the eyes of Betty and set to some background music by UK singing sensation, Mika.

For more info on the show, or to watch past episodes, check ABC's "Ugly Betty" website here.

The White House has announced Jenna Bush's engagement to Henry Hager, a former aid of Karl Rove. From USAToday.com:

Sally McDonough, press secretary for Laura Bush, said she didn't know when or where the wedding would take place.

"I can tell you that they are happy," she said of the president and first lady. Jenna Bush and Hager became engaged Wednesday while in Maine visiting the Bush family retreat in Kennebunkport. They've been dating for several years.

Well I guess someone has finally tamed the Bush wild child, Jenna. Gone are the days of careless abandonment, sticking tongues out at photographers and violating state alcoholic beverage laws. Do I care that both of those incidents happened over six years ago? Of course not. Good journalism is about rehashing the worst at the best point in someone's life.