Jennifer Aniston is turning into a Mayerhead, traveling from Florida to New York to be with John. The couple hit up the Waverly Inn for a cozy dinner for two. A friend of Jennnifer's revealed to the Daily Mail that the Friends star is head over heels for her new guy. "Jen's already telling friends she's falling in love with this guy."
I'm already over them and I don't even think this has been going on all that long. It's almost making me nostalgic for the whole John and Jessica situation.
John Mayer's looking glum. Is his new, well-toned shadow weighing him down? If John was thinking he could shake Jennifer after a few casual pool canoodles, he's got another thing coming. The He's Just Not That Into You star was spotted at a recent concert of Mayer's, looking quite taken with her new beau.
Just offstage, Jennifer was snapping pictures of her crooning crush-object and gave him a big kiss when he stepped out of the spotlight and then returned to the stage for an encore.
She better hope that wonderland of a body of hers holds his interest. In any case, she's a better woman than I am. I couldn't fake liking his faux-sentimental warbling no matter how good the sex might be.
Jessica Simpson hit L.A.'s Mexicali Cocina Cantina on May 10 and get all sorts of blitzed. She was with her best friend CaCee Cobb and Cobb's boyfriend Donald Faison. Is that the dolt from Scrubs? Jessica knocked back booze drinks for four hours. Jessica got some bombed that she had to call her Moms Tina to come collect her. Her friend CaCee Cobb kept it classy by puking under the table. PARTAY!
Things are a little strange on Planet Jessica as of late. Her boyfriend Tony Romo was in Chicago over the weekend, allegedly telling people that he was done with her and her big boobies. And last week continued the epic story of her ex-boyfriend John Mayer's ongoing Miami pool love with Jennifer Aniston. No wonder why she's swimming her way to the bottom of a bottle.
Dude, John Mayer has the hook up. Not that he doesn't make his own money, but it's definitely not Jennifer Aniston money we're talking about here. The two of them boarded a private plane in Miami following their vacation of canoodling, alert nipples and meaningful conversations over sparkling water and low-calorie, high-protein macro-biotic meals.
At the same time, it would seem that Aniston's got her little love bunny wrapped around her little finger, as she's boarding the plane, only to followed by Johnnie-Boy carrying her dog Norman. Nice. She's got him toting her pup around. Let him know his place. It's about time she got some.
Jennifer Aniston is getting laid! John Mayer made a return visit to the Mandarin Oriental Hotel in Miami to hang out with her. She's still living there while filming that dog movie. Apparently, she's learned something since Brad Pitt left her and she now knows how to do a man right. Or my initial theory is correct, and Mayer is a gay attention whore and realizes being seen with her insures flashbulbs for days.
The two pieces of dry toast worked out and then went for a swim.
John Mayer, his douchey haircut, and Jennifer Aniston have reunited. It's a love triangle. Mayer arrived at the Mandarin Oriental Hotel in Miami around 12:30 pm yesterday where Aniston is staying. Has she moved there or something? How long is that filming taking? Damn, I thought it was a flick about a dog not Apocalypse Now!
"John came in with another man who looked like a personal trainer. John was in long gray shorts and a green T-shirt, and was holding a water bottle. He looked like he just finished a workout," said a witness. "His hair was still in its new signature cut and he was in a great mood."
The "personal trainer" probably just banged him. You know how it is when you've been done right. Mayer was overheard in NYC earlier this week saying how he couldn't wait to get back down to Miami. She's probably harvesting sperm and paying some major Friends money for it. I can't think of any other reason why these two would want to hang out.
John Mayer smoked a blunt and had some weedy conversation with the paps outside of the MET's Costume Institute Gala in NYC last night about his latest trick, Jennifer Aniston. I kid you not, report to this next quote.
"Listen, this is not a scandal, this is not an issue, this is not a problem, this needs no spin control," Mayer, 30, told the press. "This is me living my life."
Mayer said that the photog who took the pictures of him, Aniston and his douchey new tat sleeve in Miami had a "really powerful lens."
"I don't fault him, I don't fault anybody, I don't fault you, I don't fault this or that. There are much worse problems in the world. Everything's cool!"
That is one stoned pigeon. Plus, he's leading that chick on. She's desperate for a love match and he just wants to get laid/keep the gay rumors at bay. Hey, don't bitch at me, I'm not the one making out with Perez Hilton! Though, I think I might have tried. God, I should just chop it off for that one.
Mayer reportedly sent flowers every morning to the room he shared with Aniston, 39, at the Mandarin Oriental Hotel in Miami. You know she was scraping those sheets every morning after he left for something to load into the turkey baster. Ugh, I even grossed myself out with that one.
Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson wrecked havoc at the Florida Marlins-San Diego Padres game this weekend while shooting Marley & Me by chasing down their Golden Retriever.
Jokey bitch John Mayer got himself a Farrah. He's blogging about how he's always wanted an 80s haircut and has finally realized his dream. Did Jennifer Aniston's vagina make him even more annoying?
"Today I set off on my newest project; to grow and maintain an authentic '80s style feathered haircut. It's something I've wanted to do for some time and I'm very excited to bring this amazing look into today's pop culture landscape. The feathered cut projects an attitude of ease and quiet confidence that seems to have all but eluded our generation," he said on his blog.
Rich people have A LOT of time on their hands. This dude seems bored. I know Aniston probably doesn't have much to say besides talk of how much she wants Shlioh....I mean kids...but still, they should golf or something. He needs something to do.
