Since Madonna's promoting her new album, she's feeling very interview-friendly. In between her hours-long work-out sessions, she's found time to give her opinion on Britney Spears and why for at least a little while there, Brit-Brit seemed to be losing in her battle against the music.
Madonna blames Britney's problems on her lack of a normal childhood, "She's been watched, judged and been under a microscope since she's been a teenager. It's hard to evolve that way," the Hard Candy singer told the BBC. Also, Madge added, "And I sucked out her soul when she was silly enough to allow me to give her an open-mouth kiss at the VMA's that one time and now I have ANOTHER FIFTEEN YEARS UNTIL I NEED TO FEAST ON THE SOUL OF ANOTHER INNOCENT YOUNGSTER! MWAHAHAHAHA!"
But she only said that in her head. Meanwhile, to disguise her evil intentions, she has recently decided to build a girls' school in Malawi. Well-played, Madge.
Lance Armstrong, champion bicyclist/Olsen dater/cancer survivor, held his annual LIVESTRONG Day yesterday. It's a day dedicated to gathering people together to fight cancer. In a recent Wall Street Journal, Armstrong wrote about what he believes will work in the fight against cancer.
"What can you do? Ask your local, state and national lawmakers what steps they'll take against tobacco, the number one cause of cancer, and how they'll ensure that all of us - not just star athletes and politicians - have access to prevention efforts, early screening and effective treatment. Educate yourself and others. Support cancer programs in your community. Live a healthy life. And vote."
For anyone whose dress size isn't in the negative number range, squeezing into Posh Spice's old clothes might take some surgery, baby powder and multiple layers of Spanx. But if you're into that sort of thing, then you're in luck because Mrs. Beckham is auctioning off the six Spice Girls reunion tour outfits she wore for the tour.
Designed by Roberto Cavalli, the ensembles are up for sale to raise money for the David Beckham Children's Charity and Vicky's hoping to garner one million pounds for the cause. And I'd have to lose one million pounds to squeeze into anything in her closet.
Here's Halle Berry looking debabied at the Revlon Run/Walk for Women at the at the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. You know she did not want to be there. She was joined by Tom Selleck and Jesse McCartney. And Melissa Manchester! Send in the clowns! That bitch is eternal! Don't cry out loud! Keep it inside! Learn how to disguise your feeeeeeelings!
16 more photos from the 15th Annual EIF Revlon Run/Walk for Women featuring Halle Berry, Tom Selleck, Carrie Anne Inaba, John Hensley, Jesse McCartney, Deidre Hall and Melissa Manchester are after the jump.
I watched this...and it's Kim Kardashian trying to do good....but her giant ass was just so PRESENT in that incredibly tight tube dress she puts on. And she keeps making jokes about how dumb she is. And her sisters are mocking her. And listening to the Kardashian sisters discuss Burma's current political climate in those airhead Hills voices...the juxtapositioning was just too much! It's like listening to Britney Spears talk about Darfur. DOES. NOT. COMPUTE. Uh, good job there, Kim?
Thought that would get your attention. Here's Brit Danny Cipriani(third from left) and some of his teammates butt ass naked. It's for charity, but who cares! The London Wasps players got starkers for the Everyman Campaign, which raises awareness for male cancer. The photos will be appearing in Cosmopolitan magazine. Other stars will be joining them but I think they're enough. Don't you? Can the one on the left e-mail me at jharvey@asl.gmail.com? Thanks, that will be all.
Hilary Duff strut her stuff at Allure magazine's photo exhibition and silent auction on Wednesday night. Here she is being escorted by her hockey player boyfriend, Mike Comrie. He cleans up well. His head is as big as mine, so James Van Der Beek and I know his pain. The three of us should take our enormous melons out for beers and perhaps we can persuade the hockey player to lose clothing. Hockey players are hot as long as they manage to hold onto the teeth.
The event was to benefit skin cancer research and ties in with Hil appearing on the cover of Allure's May issue. Inside, celebs such as Angie Harmon, Gabrielle Union, Jill Scott, and Ana Ortiz pose nude.
Hilary recently verified that she is "not engaged!" Yes, there was an exclamation point. Settle down, Chiclets! I hope Katherine McPhee finds work soon. She's far too pretty not to.
Seal made a big revelation at last week's Lupus L.A. Orange Ball in Beverly Hills. This is the same event where Paula Abdul joked about her drunk ass antics on last week's Idol. Besides performing, Seal revealed that he has lupus himself.
"You've all shown your generosity and your support, and as a 20-or-so-odd-year sufferer myself, I feel really fortunate to be in the position to contribute," Seal said.
Sean performed four songs. The Lupus Research Institute announced it had established a grant in Seal's name that will go to lupus-related initiatives. Show your man some love, Heidi Klum, that's a rough thing to deal with!
Here's Gwyneth Paltrow starring in a movie about a superhero she's probably never even heard of. She wouldn't know Iron Man from Rainbow Brite. She just wanted to be able to remind people that she's still alive and working despite all the adversity she's gone through. Like seaweed shakes, Madonna-friending, oddly named babies and hating America.
When she's not insulting comic book nerds everywhere with her obvious disdain for the material, she's giving. Gwyneth recently appeared at a gala for the Food Bank of New York City and donated $75,000. Hey big spender! Her friggin' shoe-shopping trips probably cost more. Damn, way to give, Paltrow. You sure you can spare it?
Why didn't you just give them the scraps from one of your macrobiotic vegan food orgies and call it a day? Here's a thought - why don't the assorted rich bitches donate all the food served TO the hungry? Seriously, load up a truck. It's not like the anorexic and manorexic twigs in evening finery are actually going to tuck into anything at one of these things. It's all for the open bar, the publicity, and the networking, anyway.
Matt Damon is one of the stars taking part in a photoshoot to bring attention to the conflict in Darfur. Celebrities including Damon, Nip/Tuck's Joely Richardson, and Jemima Khan (Wrath of?) were photographed hacking up toys and children's drawings to represent how children's lives in the Sudanese region have been "shattered."
"After the genocide in Rwanda we all said never again," Damon said.
I know his heart's in the right place, but Matty looks like he's having a lot of fun smashing up that dollhouse. It's supposed to be a somber moment, right? He looks like he should have a bucket of popcorn and a big soda. He's having his own personal demolition derby for Darfur.
