May 16, 2008
Rumors are swirling like the crack smoke around Pete Doherty and Amy Winehouse about the possibility of a Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon engagement. Hence Jake's facial expression. No one should have to marry their favorite shopping partner. They're a companion for outlet shopping sprees! Not life!
A source says that Jake and Reese are thinking of taking the plunge.
"They've been talking marriage for a while. They'll be formally engaged any day now. They want to spend the rest of their lives together," the source reports.
Apparently, Witherspoon wants to make things official for the sake of her two children with ex-husband Ryan Phillippe - Ava, 8, and Deacon, 4.
"This is a very serious relationship. But Reese is very conservative and traditional. I'm sure she doesn't want her kids to see her 'living in sin'," the "friend of the actress" says. Jesus, take your habit and wimple off, Reese. It's 2008. She probably calls her breasts "dirtypillows", too.
Photos: BauerGriffinOnline.com
More of Jake Gyllenhaal at LAX after the jump.
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Mariah Carey and her incredibly lucky husband Nick Cannon brought their love to the Operation Smile event at Skylight Studios in NYC last night. Mariah is running around feeling the fever of love and nuptials and hopefully making sure that prenup is iron-clad. Otherwise she's going to lose half of everything when these two split. The butterfly farm, the unicorn stables, and the cotton candy lamb corral. Tee-hee!
Operation Smile is a global effort to help fix kids facial deformities and advocate affordable healthcare systems for children and their families. Mariah probably barely read the brochure. She just wants to look at her ring and repeat "Mrs. Nick Cannon" to herself over and over again. Like a mantra.
Photos: WENN
More photos of Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon at the Operation Smile event are after the jump.
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May 13, 2008
Sting me, bumblee girl! And the purple shoes. Only someone as exquisite as as Rihanna could pull off this palette. I even like Chris' wacky robot t-shirt. Rihanna and Chris Brown were recently spotted making time at a KFC in Miami. These two have been all shifty about their relationship. Now the bumblebees out of the bag!
When Rihanna realized there was paparazzi on them on Wednesday night, she reportedly put her arms around Chris Brown's neck and "planted a lingering kiss on his lips." She's obviously had enough sneaking around.
Rihanna recently spoke about how close her and Chris Brown have gotten, but stopped short at defining their relationship. And now you know.
Photos: INFDaily.com/SplashNewsOnline.com
More photos of Rihanna and Chris Brown are after the jump.
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May 11, 2008
Jennifer Aniston is getting laid! John Mayer made a return visit to the Mandarin Oriental Hotel in Miami to hang out with her. She's still living there while filming that dog movie. Apparently, she's learned something since Brad Pitt left her and she now knows how to do a man right. Or my initial theory is correct, and Mayer is a gay attention whore and realizes being seen with her insures flashbulbs for days.
The two pieces of dry toast worked out and then went for a swim.
SplashNewsOnline.com/BauerGriffinOnline
18 more photos of a bikini clad Jennifer Aniston and a shirtless John Mayer in Miami are after the jump.
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May 10, 2008
You would too. She used to be able to rest her head on Ryan Reynolds' rock-hard abs. Then they broke off their engagement last year. Alanis Morrisette and his abs, I mean. And now he's engaged to Scarlett Johansson! That bitch can't sing! At least not about giving head in a theater! Alanis Morrisette says that she "hit rock bottom" last year.
She says she had to take a break due to "a personal unraveling of significant relationships in my life." Oh honey, just say it. Ryan took off and you were devastated. I would be, too. Look at that body.
Her new album, Flavors of Entanglement, hits on June 10 (J. Harvey's birthday!), and it's how she worked through her issues she says. That, and everything from "pounding pillows" (with Scarjo's face on them) to "sharing with intimate friends." So she f*cked her way back. Good for her.
Alanis hasn't lost her faith in love, though.
"Oh yeah. My nature is always hope filled. It's more about values matching now. That's the foundation," she says. Oh shit, she joined EHarmony? Those bitches are homophobic and I'm disappointed in Alanis now.
The Canadian songstress says she's dating someone but declined to reveal who. It's totally George Glass.
Photos: SplashNewsOnline.com
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May 09, 2008
Photos: BauerGriffinOnline.com
John Mayer, his douchey haircut, and Jennifer Aniston have reunited. It's a love triangle. Mayer arrived at the Mandarin Oriental Hotel in Miami around 12:30 pm yesterday where Aniston is staying. Has she moved there or something? How long is that filming taking? Damn, I thought it was a flick about a dog not Apocalypse Now!
"John came in with another man who looked like a personal trainer. John was in long gray shorts and a green T-shirt, and was holding a water bottle. He looked like he just finished a workout," said a witness. "His hair was still in its new signature cut and he was in a great mood."
The "personal trainer" probably just banged him. You know how it is when you've been done right. Mayer was overheard in NYC earlier this week saying how he couldn't wait to get back down to Miami. She's probably harvesting sperm and paying some major Friends money for it. I can't think of any other reason why these two would want to hang out.
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May 08, 2008
Photos: BauerGriffinOnline.com
Jesus, just say "yeah, I'm takin' it from him." What's with the big friggin' mystery? Does all the suspense really sell more records? Rihanna spoke to Elle magazine and is still playing coy about her relationship with Chris Brown. I need a cocktail to take the edge off because this is making me grouchy.
"We've always been friends," she tells the magazine, "but we're very close now." And that's it. What the eff are you afraid of? What - he won't commit? F*ck him and the horse he rode in on. Just find some new D! You sell more records than him, what the hell are you afraid of? Get with Kanye, you're on his tour and he's newly single. That'll show Chris Brown!
Another thing that Rihanna won't talk about are those age-old rumors that she got after it with her mentor, Jay-Z. She knows better than to talk about that because Beyonce will find her.
"I get asked about it all the time and I'm like, 'You're asking, but you know the answer,'" she says. "I don't even like to address it anymore."
Rihanna was reportedly "surprised" by Hova's April wedding to Beyonce. Which means her ass wasn't invited or it's even more lies! I wouldn't be shocked if she wasn't invited, though. Beyonce probably spent her bachelorette party throwing darts at a picture of Rihanna's face and texting her death threats.
More photos of Rihanna backstage at the Glow in the Dark tour after the jump.
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May 06, 2008
John Mayer smoked a blunt and had some weedy conversation with the paps outside of the MET's Costume Institute Gala in NYC last night about his latest trick, Jennifer Aniston. I kid you not, report to this next quote.
"Listen, this is not a scandal, this is not an issue, this is not a problem, this needs no spin control," Mayer, 30, told the press. "This is me living my life."
Mayer said that the photog who took the pictures of him, Aniston and his douchey new tat sleeve in Miami had a "really powerful lens."
"I don't fault him, I don't fault anybody, I don't fault you, I don't fault this or that. There are much worse problems in the world. Everything's cool!"
That is one stoned pigeon. Plus, he's leading that chick on. She's desperate for a love match and he just wants to get laid/keep the gay rumors at bay. Hey, don't bitch at me, I'm not the one making out with Perez Hilton! Though, I think I might have tried. God, I should just chop it off for that one.
Mayer reportedly sent flowers every morning to the room he shared with Aniston, 39, at the Mandarin Oriental Hotel in Miami. You know she was scraping those sheets every morning after he left for something to load into the turkey baster. Ugh, I even grossed myself out with that one.
Photos: WENN
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May 01, 2008
Being a new mom is hard work. Might as well get your drink on. Nothing else helps you cope with a colicky baby like a big booze drink. Here's Christina Aguilera all sorts of shittoed at the launch of Crown Bar, with her husband Jordan Bratman. Hey - new parents need a night out. Telling nannies how to raise your baby and all night sex sessions in the pool is hard work.
Photos: WENN/BauerGriffinOnline.com
9 more photos of an extremely tipsy Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman leaving the launch party of the Crown Bar are after the jump.
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Photos: PacificCoastNews.com
Benji Madden is in love. In love with a slattern! He says that his girlfriend Paris Hilton is "wife material," and that he was initially worried how fans of his band Good Charlotte would react to their relationship. With copious vomiting and possibly a CD burning in a large stadium.
"[Our fan base] is like a big family," Madden said. "When someone comes in everyone's like, 'Welcome to the family.' And now our fans are even supporting her. It's hard, because in my relationship, you just want to get on top of a mountain and go 'I'm in love!' but your fans would probably make fun of you. So you have to try to hold back as much as you can, but it's hard sometimes."
Yeah, your fans are going to make fun of you! You're with a woman who is famous for being a brainless, racist slut! Even her herpes are embarrassed!
Madden was coy about actual wedding plans.
"Wow, alright...Well, I'm not going to bet against you on that, but I don't know," Madden told the interviewer. "We'll see. I'm very, very happy right now."
What do we think? Another month? She needs to switch up the penis at least every three weeks.
Photos: Bauer-Griffin Online
More photos of Benji and Joel Madden at the airport after the jump.
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