Poor little Audrina Patridge might be getting the boot from her best buddy L.C. on MTV's The Hills, but the new movie role she's landed in Into the Blue Too: The Reef is probably enough to help her completely forget just how traumatized she was after her friendship dissolved. Girlfriend's got to work! These breast implants aren't going to pay for themselves!
Even though it's a straight-to-DVD release, Audrina looks like she couldn't be more sexcited about her movie role. And even though I know that's sunscreen being sprayed on her lower back, I can't help wishing it were butt adhesive just because it's so weird that "butt adhesive" actually exists. I'm so fascinated, I should help them market their product.
"Butt adhesive--not just for deranged beauty queens!"
Please enjoy the exclusive video from The Hills third season finale party in LA. You will realize that Lauren Conrad is kind of a bitch, and Audrina Patridge seems like a nice-enough sort. I don't know if I see her as being a huge Hollywood star, though she did just get cast in the....sequel to Into The Blue. She's starring alongside the....dude who left The O.C. because his Dad was gay. Yeah.
Would you like some spoilers for the fourth season of The Hills. Yes? Well, follow the jump!
Here's some exclusive footage of Stephanie Pratt from The Hills talking about her douchey brother, Spencer Pratt, at The Hills season finale party. Apparently, he's really funny and not pleased that she's friends with Lauren Conrad. Because you know, Lauren vs. Heidi Montag and Spencer and so on. Watching The Hills must suck brain cells. Writing about it sure does.
Stephanie says that she thinks Spencer is merely fixated on not liking Lauren, and proving a point, and just taking it out on her. She also claims that Spencer is speaking with Brody Jenner again. This might be because Brody reportedly has a new MTV show on the way called Bromance. Unless this "bromance" involves hot oil massage between mens, then count me out.
Spencer and Brody were on the outs (at least as determined by the show's writers) because Brody wouldn't drop Lauren Conrad. Since then, Spencer has reportedly regretted his ultimatum. Either that, or he realizes hanging out with Brody could mean double the photo opps. Spencer would insert himself into the FBI warning at the beginning of DVDs if he could. Winking at the camera while Heidi poledanced in the background.
"Spencer had been calling and texting for a long time, begging to make up, but Brody was just blowing him off," a source said. "Spencer was relentless."
Jenner apparently realized he might need a "name" co-star for Bromance (I can't type that without cringing) so he's speaking with Pratt again. Grody and Twat, together again.
The reality TV power couple Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag were conspicuously absent from the MTV season finale party for The Hills last night. Her rep claims that she wasn't invited, which seems like a load of BS, because I can't imagine that MTV execs would hardly pass up the opportunity for a red-carpet spat if given the chance. Maybe her boobs sprung a leak and she had to get them patched. That's how they work, right?
In any case, Lauren Conrad and Stephanie Pratt (Spencer's sister) were at the event and (surprise, surprise) Stephanie told E! Online that she's looking to start a career in fashion. Great. I'm all out of poorly-made items of trashy clothing.
And will someone please be Audrina's friend, already? I never thought I'd say this, but those sad faces she makes are starting to have an effect on me.
That is a brave woman sitting in such close proximity to this sniper bait. Except that now, I'm finding out that it's Heidi's mother and so I'm now holding her at least partially responsible for her daughter's complete lack of judgment. The fact that she's agreed to allow Heidi to engage in this faux relationship with the anti-Christ that is Spencer Pratt proves to me that she is a horrible mother and should have those flowers snatched right out of her hands, after which she should be beaten about the head and shoulders with the very roses she didn't deserve to be given in the first place.
Yay! Audrina Patridge is happy because her boobies have opened new doors for her career as an actress. See? They're not just for feeding babies and going wild. They have a multitude of uses. The reality TV star, whose most distinguishing characteristic on her MTV show, The Hills is that she's a brunette, is going to star in the sequel to the Jessica Alba bikini movie, Into the Blue.
And Audrina is PSYCHED, guys. She told Ryan Seacrest that Into the Blue 2: Bluer and Bigger is "giving me the chance to show people [what I can do]." Yes, she's going to show us how nice and toned her acting muscle is in a skimpy little two-piece. And I totally made up the second part of that sequel movie title, but only because I haven't seen the first movie and I'm assuming the storyline is all about making guys uncomfortable by getting them aroused with gratuitous shots of girls in bikinis.
The LA Times recently did a thorough examination of the Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt phenomenon. Heidi tried summing up their existence by explaining how they perceive themselves.
"Obviously we're entertainers. We are trying to entertain in every aspect of our lives. Whether it's on the show or in the tabloids."
Spencer explains that he started dating Heidi behind the scenes after Season 1 of The Hills because he felt that the show needed some "evil." Whether he was with her initially because she was on TV or not, he claims to be fully in love with her manufactured personality and body.
"I was -- and am -- so in love with Heidi, and that stuff stops mattering. Our real world is right here," he said, gesturing at the space between them. I might vomit. I need to breathe deeply and through my nose slowly.
Spencer says he and Heidi are fully aware as to how the media works, and are merely feeding the voracious beast that is the mainstream media, the tabloids, and the blogs. Thanks for the snack, Spence!
"Every hour," he said. "Every different magazine, every blog texts, like, 'We heard this, we heard this.' Most of the time, people are just making things up, trying to get you to give a source quote. Or give one line just so they can build something. On every site, in every magazine, they need content. It's the most competitive industry in the world, I would say, the pop culture media game."
Spencer probaby said all this while Heidi watched the carbonation in her glass of soda. We know who's running that show.
MTV's precious treasure The Hills has been renewed for a fourth season. The new cycle is being shot right now, and the first of 19 new episodes will premiere in August. Can you stand it? That's a lot of fake reality drama.
"They just started shooting," an insider says. "The fourth season will be about what they ended up doing this summer. Lauren and Whitney will still be working at People's Revolution."
The current season will bow out on May 12. MTV will be throwing a pre-and post-party in the Hollywood Hills (duh) that day which will be shown live on the network. Usher and Young Jeezy will perform. I'd rather watch a scripted "reality" show starring someone named "Young Jeezy."
As for upcoming storylines before the May 12 season finale?
"Lauren makes a heartfelt attempt to patch things up with Audrina, but it may be too late," an MTV statement reads. "Meanwhile, Spencer fears he's going to lose Heidi forever when he learns she's taking a job in Las Vegas."
As a hooker? Well that's pretty much what she does anyway! Might as well get some mileage out of that plastic on her chest!
Seriously, Jason Wahler is so annoyed by the sex tape allegations that he can't stop talking about it. He also addressed the issue of Heidi Montag challenging Lauren Conrad to a lie detector test and wrapped up his rant about Heidi and Spencer by saying that he was tired talking about it and promises us that he's no longer bringing up the subject.
Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but Jason really sounds like he must have been on the Debate Team in school because those arguments of his were pretty eloquent, with all of his bullet points and logical assertions like, "she needs to just chill out, she was a loser, she was a nobody before this."
Although I do agree with his advice that Heidi stop working on her music. It might be the first sensible thing anyone from The Hills has ever uttered.
The star of The Hills and part-time volunteer lingerie model, Heidi Montag, hit up the Late Show and took the opportunity to try and win over America by talking shit about Lauren Conrad in between flashing her giant veneers to the audience and Dave. And I'm not sure, but I'd be willing to be money that is a Jessica Simpson wig on her vacant plastic head.
Not one to play coy, Heidi obligingly went into detail about how Lauren tried to break up Heidi's relationship with Spencer Pratt (something they know how to do on their own, thankyouverymuch!) and kept insisting that a sex-tape of Lauren did exist at some point.
The best part, by far, though was when Heidi explained to us what it is Spencer does for a living. According to the bubbly blonde, "He's a money-making media mogul." That's such resume speak for "porn producer."
A Socialite's Life provides your recommended daily dose of celebrity gossip, photos, & media speculation - brought to you in digestible bites. To be enjoyed with a martini (and with a sense of humor).
