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Office drama is what we seem to be specializing in lately over here at Unqualified. This concerned reader (concerned for her damn self!) wants to know how to handle an affair that her coworkers are having. I say join in! Nothing alleviates the boredom of a drudgey office position than a threesome! Ok, I really don't advise that. I guess. Keep reading...
What is happening in people's offices? A couple of weeks back, some biddy's Power Bars were causing a stink. Literally. Now a beloved reader wants to know what to do with a co-worker who thinks she's at the titty bar. On stage. And taking fives. We need to do better as a country. Keep reading...
Oh, you people need to hear this one. Meet "Sister with a Normal Name." She's got a problem with her sister. Rainbow. Even if this letter is total bullshit, I want to thank the person who let me write about a ho named Rainbow. Keep reading...
Hey kids! Welcome back to the worst advice column you're ever going to read. Seriously, I must have caused at least three divorces, five incidents of parents returning their newly adopted children back to the orphanage, six catfights and a suicide by now. This week we have a situation near and dear to my heart - a Mom trying to help her son come out of the closet. Christ, my advice is going to cause him to run to one of those ex-gay organizations before he's even gay. Keep reading...
Welcome to "Unqualified with J. Harvey": Red Sox Opening Day Version! I just saw the Dunkie's commercial in which Jonathan Papelbon keeps getting his ass smacked so I'm kinda turned on. I think it's only appropriate that we have some sweaty security guard man-sex! No, really. Keep reading....
Please! No more flatulence questions! I'm still getting over my nausea. This week's request for advice comes from the reader who asked for advice on how to conduct herself when she has to eat in Third World countries. I'm happy to report that she has dived right in and she's eating boiled duck eggs and grasshoppers and if she vomits, so be it! Issue solved! Anyway, she has a problem with her friend's art. Keep reading....
Radar magazine gave Hills douche Spencer Pratt an advice column. How come they didn't give me one? I'll pose wearing bunny ears with that slut he runs around with! I've got no morals, too! Spencer's first advice offering was to a girl who wrote in about peeing in a one night stand's bed. She said she was all mortified. His response: He's an idiot and totally wrong. Drunks are incredibly sexy. Hell, most of my sexual encounters pre-the boyfriend were under the influence of alcohol. I don't have a lot to work with but my capacity for alcohol and encouraging other people to drink is legendary. Alcohol makes people sexy! And who hasn't pissed a bed after you passed out? Have these douchebags ever been to Boston? Christ, who gave this chump a column? Don't buy him new sheets! Just leave! And if you see him in a bar again, laugh at him. His friends will probably still want to bang you. Guys get over that stuff unless it's a big vagina like Spencer Pratt. He'd probably insist on new sheets. He's that type of heifer. Honey, write to me next. I'll take care of you. Screw AA, let's go get a pint and run topless down the street. Photos: SplashNewsOnline.com
Wow! This is a situation you do not want to find yourself in. I personally would never want to be with a girl who gets so wasted that she's pissing in bed. It's time to sign up for AA, my dear, because drunks are not sexy. Regardless, if the guy's really, really, really cool, he might understand. But I wouldn't count on it. Best bet is to be honest and tell him that was the drunkest you've ever been and that it was a huge mistake and it'll never happen again. And make sure you buy him new sheets.
Last week's column caused all sorts of controversy about the role of bridesmaids, exactly how much you should spend on a bachelorette party and how some sisters will f*ck with your dress on their wedding day to make you look bad. Things got heated! I love opening a dialogue! These week's e-mail is from a girl with a stank co-worker. And I don't mean personality-wise. Keep reading....
ok well i was with this man his name is jimmy for about four years on and off. this relationship started when i was about 15 and i am now 19. when i was 18 i moved away to go to college and we stayed together at first but i was kind of crazy and like wanted to go out and experience my new freedom so things didnt work out. as of right now we are not together. i am still in love with him, i dont know if he is the right one for me or if i just still like him because hes so familiar but his feelings are not the same. throughout our reltationship he was totally in love with me he chased me for like a year and we were friends for a while before we got together and since he was so in love with me i never thought he would leave me, so i didnt exactly treat him that great, and so now that were not together he like he says he doesnt feel the same way about me because i treated him so bad in the past. i dont know what to do like there are alot of other guys i could be with but im scared to get close to another guy again and like when i go back to visit my parents i see him sometimes and weve hooked up since weve been broken up and i know he thinks im hot and stuff i just dont know if i can get him back emotionally. so im just asking basically if i should continue living like this just waiting for him to realize or if i should just move on. i have dated casually a few other guys but nothing this deep. thanks for your advice let me know what you think Rachael In my head, I could literally hear her jabbering that at me without pausing for a breath. Slow down on the Red Bulls, chica! This is a tough one because I'm thinking you're sorta at fault since I read you treated him all wrong. But people learn. Keep reading. This is a tough one. Firstly, I have some questions. What does this person do? I'm dying to know. Work for Oxfam? Can I have her frequent flyer miles in payment for the advice? Bitch sounds like she gets around the globe. Anyway, keep reading for some tips to help her out.
Hey kids. This week we have a love problem. This chick Rachael treated her man like dookie, and now he's gun-shy around her and she realized she might love his ass. That's a tough one. Keep reading. Be warned, she just launches into it!
xo
Hey team. We would like officially announce that I'm going to be joined on the weekend shift by the lovely and talented Intern Traci! Traci will be joining me in bringing you the who, what, when, where, why, Britney did what? of celebrity gossip over the weekend. Because no hangover is complete without "A Socialite's Life". Big applause to welcome Traci! So log on over the weekend, check us out, comment, analyze, and shake your head. And feel better about yourself after you read the latest celebrity mess. That's what we do! 
Ashton Kutcher Strips Down To His Undies
A Socialite's Life provides your recommended daily dose of celebrity gossip, photos, & media speculation - brought to you in digestible bites. To be enjoyed with a martini (and with a sense of humor).
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